Sleepless Nights

Before we had Emily everyone kept telling us to get plenty of rest which I did occasionally. I didn't really realize just how little of sleep I'd get that first week. The first night Emily was with us in the hospital after a few minute of trying to get her to fall asleep we paged the nursery for them to come take her. It was nice to store up on two nights of okay sleep. She was brought in every 2-3 hours to feed plus I had my vitals checked in the middle of the night too, but other than that we had peaceful sleeping!

The first night we were home I grabbed Emily's swaddle wrap, then got her all nice & snug! I got her to sleep & laid her down in her cradle. Easy! Only 2 minutes later she let me know she wasn't about to sleep in her cradle. My thoughts? Must be too big we will try the bassinet tomorrow. We took turns that night holding her in the living room...me, Cody and then my mom. We were exhausted day 2 home from the hospital.

The next day came & I laid her in the bassinet, to no avail she had no desire to lay there either. She wanted to be with us. Not to mention she hated being swaddled. She loves her legs to be swaddled, but she likes her hands up in her face. I should have known considering she literally had her hand by her face at birth. This is when we came up with shifts and everyone got a 3 hour block to sit up with Emily while she slept on their chest. I became increasingly sleepy at night as I had to get out of bed every 2-3 hours to nurse, but at least I was getting some sleep between nursings at least twice a night. Once when Cody was on shift & once when my mom was on shift. Our schedule worked for us at least for the time being.

Once my mom left Cody & I worked out our own schedule. I'm blessed that he's so willing despite the fact that he has to get up early to go to work. We average about 6 hours of sleep a night granted it's broken up. I'd like to say things are improving but not yet. It will get there & for now I'll cherish all these cuddles because I know in a year or two I'll be wishing desperately that I could sneak a cuddle in.

Removing the Stress: Nursing

One thing I kept hearing over & over again as I gave my hand at nursing was that if you were stressed out then your baby would know it. It's crazy to me that your baby can be that intuitive. This reason is one of the number one reasons why I decided to remove Emily from the breast. As she would bobble around & scream at my lack of milk supply I'd become increasingly discouraged & frustrated only adding more stress to the matter. It was only a matter of minutes before we were both crying.

I just read a blog post over at Mama and Baby Love called Make Your Boobs a Happy Place. After reading her post I am encouraged to continue giving it a try occasionally to see if perhaps Emily will take to the breast. I love those moments when she latches because there is a bond in that moment that is like no other. Sometimes when she's really fussy I just let her nurse herself to sleep because she will take the breast in those moments and she's completely comforted. In those moments my boobs are a very happy place for her. We still mostly pump & bottle feed but occasionally I still try the breast. I've been on domperidone for a couple weeks now & my supply is up but still not enough to take care of all her needs. My lactation consultant has encouraged me to nurse her from time to time even if I do spend a majority of my time pumping. So I'm going to attempt to continue making it a happy place. And when it doesn't work I'm not discouraged as much & it doesn't end in tears. I take her off & give her a bottle making all well in the world. No stress.

One Month

8 lbs 12 oz 21. 5 in.

Dear Emily,

You are one month old. It's hard to believe that a month ago I was going into the hospital to have you. It feels as though all that happened just yesterday. You are growing up too fast already. You are no longer that teeny tiny baby, but you are starting to get so big. Every time I look at you I am surprised by how much you have grown. You try very hard to hold up your head as long as you can. You have a very strong neck!

You actually love tummy time which I hear is rare. Not to mention you love playing on your play mat. You kick and kick and kick while the music is playing. This is one place you are always happy to spend time. All too often you'd much rather be laying with either me or daddy than swinging or sitting in your chair.

You have brought so much joy to our lives. While we still would like extra sleep the cuddles we get with you make up for the hours we are missing out on. Not to mention nothing is sweeter than the grins & giggles that occur in your sleep. We both love you with everything in us & find you absolutely adorable!

Love ,

Mom

Okay here is your real one month photo. The other one was taken 7 days late but I wanted to trick people into thinking I had it all together.