Okay, so today I decided I would go for a new look. I called Chelsey and said let go get hair color. I picked up a box called "Medium Brown" and then we went home. And now this is what I look like...

So anyone else think it doesnt really look like a Medium Brown? Its practically black. I realize that in a few days it will be a lighter color but for now I will remain dark haired. So let me know what you think even if you hate it...

This is Nicole & her hubby. I think this picture is just precious. I caught them between pictures just loving on each other. Its amazing to see how much they truly love one another.  

So this is me & my sister Christmas day. She's 9 mos. pregnant and somehow manages to look just as skinny if not skinnier than me. Infact, I may even look like the pregnant one in this picture. Pathetic!  

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

I hope that all of you had a very Merry Christmas! I also hope that you didn't forget the bestest gift of all, and that is the birth of Christ. It was nice to wake up this morning and go to church and be reminded of the coming of our King. What a blessed thing we get to celebrate not only at Christmas time, but all year long. This Christmas was a good one, and not as weird as I thought it might be. Somedays I still don't even realize that my Grandma is really gone. Christmas in Tyler was good though.

On Friday we painted the letters for above the crib...ELLIE! They turned out soooo cute! Her room is just adorable. I'll show pictures later once all the decorations are up. The room is almost done, just needs the wall hangings, mobile for the crib, bedskirt for the guest bed and a few throw pillows too. Ellie will be here sometime with in the next 2 weeks probably. Her due date is January 10th, and Nicole's doctor said if she wasn't born by then, then they would set an induction date for the following week. I can't wait to see what my little niece looks like, and to hold her for the first time. I experienced all sorts of excitement when little Autumn Grace was born in August. But this time its my niece, my very own niece...its going to be times 10 what it was when Aut was born, I didnt know that was possible. Anyway, I'm pretty excited as you can probably see. I love looking at my sisters belly knowing that inside her is this little baby who is my niece, its so neat. Its fun to watch her kick and move around. We took a picture this morning and yet again I look pregnant and my sister doesnt just because of the angle.

Last week was great and I hope that this week will be good too. Its fun when out of town college friends come home for the holidays. I spent practically all last week hanging out with Catherine and we had a blast. And Johnny even tagged a long twice. Chronicles of Narnia was amazing! I look forward to more hang out time this week. Hope you are all having an enjoyable Christmas vacation.

Haha. That's really all i can say to this... 

List the first 20 people that come to your mind, in no particular order:

1. Chelsey Ellis
2. Lauren Reeves
3. Lexy Sanchez
4. Russell Stone
5. John Reed
6. Mik Stearns
7. Tory Roberts
8. Shawna Flanagen
9. Nikki Drought
10. Zach Vitek
11. Catherine Harvey
12. Katie Hepburn
13. Nicole Bush
14. Heather Johnson
15. Emily Bryant
16. Carrie Brazell
17. Benjamin Zamora
18. Ashley Howard
19. Scott Gray
20. Stephanie Gibbs

How did you meet 13? Well its kind of special how we met. See April 17th, 1983 I was born into this world and later that day I met my older sister and her name is Nicole:)

What would you do if you never met 5? Wow, I can't imagine what my life would be like if I never met Johnny. I probably wouldn't have passed algebra in high school for one:) But more importantly I wouldn't have an incredible friend like him. He has been there for me in ways that most people havent even come close to being there for me. Johnny means the world to me, and this past year has been easier thanks to him. Thanks for everything friend, you mean more than you will ever know.

What do you honestly think of 10? Zach, haha. I think Zach is a pot head in secret. I also think that hes not as angelic as he makes me think he is. Okay, in all honesty I think hes a punk because he hates country music. Love yah Zach!

Would or did 19 and 18 go out? Nope, they wouldn't like each other even if they did meet.

Have you ever liked 3? She's my best friend so of course I like her, but not romantically if thats what you mean.

If 1 died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need him/her to know? Wow, I don't know what I'd do with myself. Chelsey and I have been best friends for over 10 years now and I can't imagine what it would be like to not have her as a part of my life. While our friendship has had its ups and downs and there has been times we havent been close, I can't imagine losing her in such a way. Chelsey means the world to me, she's just like a sister to me. Me & Chelsey have been through so much in life together and it would be a very difficult thing to experience. I would want her to know that I love her and always will. That I think she is incredible and that I am more than blessed to have her as a friend. But she knows all that, so I don't have to tell her.

Would 2 and 11 make a good couple? well, Lauren is sweet and Catherine is great. But Lauren is married and Catherine likes boys too...so I'll go with NO!

Who is 16 going out with? Chad Larsh

Describe 7 in 3 words: One Crazy Dude!!

Do you think 12 is hot? Yep, KT is one hot mama!!

Would 1 and 8 make a lovely couple? umm, man all these questions would pose that my friends be lesbians...but Chelsey is happily married and Shawna likes boys a lot!

What do you think when you see 17? man, i love that guy.

Tell me something humiliating about 11? hmm, Catherine...I can't say that I have anything humilating on her. I am sure if I thought long and hard I could think of something that would make people laugh, but she'd laugh too.

What's 20's favorite color? PINK! I think...

On a scale of 1-10 how cute is 14? we'll go with a 10!!!

What would you do if 4 just professed their undying love for u? Russell, haha. Since he won't ever see this...umm, Id wet myself. And I'd be more than ecstatic!!

What language does 19 speak? Scott, umm he speaks English well.

Who is 9 going out with? well she recently went on a date with Brian, we'll see how that goes;)

Is 8 a boy or a girl? a girl!

Would 18 and 4 make a cute couple? Ashley & Russell, finally opposite sex...but umm, I wont say yes b/c well its Russell and I dont wanna imagine him with someone else

What grade is 17 in? busted filling out silly junior high/high school surveys! ben's already graduated from college

When was the last time you talked to 12? umm a couple days ago.

What is 6's favorite band? of all time? some Jesus loving group, maybe Switchfoot!

Does 1 have any siblings? yes, a sister named Kristen.

Would you ever date 7? I'd make out with him, not sure we'd date though:)

Is 13 single? nope, she's happily married to my brother-n-law Adam and they are having a little girl in less than a month!!!!

What would the child of 15 and 6 be like? Emily & Mik, I can't even imagine that. They would have dark hair and probably be a goofball. They'd love Jesus a lot...but I dunno what else.

How old will 14 be if they get married? well she's 25 now, so I'm going to go with 27.

What do you really think of 2? Lauren, I think she is an incredible friend, an amazing wife & mother! And I love her dearly!!!

Shawna, Me & Nikki at Main Event. We had a blast. And in our last game I bowled a 108 which is amazing!! I'm pretty sure my first game was like 79...haha, pathetic.  

So after we went bowling we went to Taco Bell/Long John Silvers and this is what we received. We all had balloons, but we were driving to Dustin's with them out the window and Nikkis & Shawna's string couldnt hold on long enough. But mine survived. 

So this is Nikki, me & Shawna over at Dustin's after bowling. We pretended to play Risk and then didn't. We played half a game of Life before I started handing myself & Nikki lot's of money and we started to realize we couldn't play another minute longer. Fun night! 

So this is in honor of mine & Renee's day in! We were going to have a "date night" tonight where I was going to drive to Lewisville and were were going to order pizza and watch a movie like we use to when we were roommies. But turns out the weather is pretty bad, and there is no way either of us are crossing the bridge at Lake Lewisville. So instead we are doing the same thing but at seperate houses and sharing our experience online. Make fun of us if you wish, but we're talking online and everything. Turns out we would have done this when we lived at home too. She would be in her room and me in mine, haha we're dorks. We finally after two months of me living here have gotten around to hanging out and we're trying to make sure we don't let that not hanging out crap happen to us again.  

So today me & Nikki went to the mall to see Santa Claus. He told Nikki that she could get a new car and an iPod and told me he would get his elves to make me a house. So looks like my Christmas is gonna be pretty sweet. Hmm, I look extremely dark in this picture and I'm definately not. HO, HO, HO!!!!

I have this list with in my mind of things I'd like to do this holiday season and getting a picture with Santa was one of them. So I'm excited that I can mark that off my list. And on top of that exciting news I get to go to the Nutcracker this weekend which was another thing I wanted to do. Still on my list is, find a good place to see Christmas lights and drive thru while enjoying some Christmas music. And enjoy other random wintery/Christmas fun!!

This picture is a little random picture of happiness for myself. The lady on the left is my Great Aunt Carol, shes my Grandmas sister. They look a great deal alike. Then the man in the photo is my Great Uncle Paul, he's my Papaw's brother. And they also look a great deal alike. In fact, after my Papaw died I use to have reoccuring dreams that I would run into Paul in the mall and I would call out to him, "PAPAW" and he would look at me and say "I'm not your Papaw. Thats how similar they look. Minus the fact that Paul is a great deal taller than Papaw. I'll try to post a picture of my Grandma & Papaw soon, I just got to locate a good one that isn't too big to scan. So basically this picture was taken because I am a goof and wanted a picture of Aunt Carol and Uncle Paul since they look so much like my own grandparents. Now there is my cousin in the pink sweater and my sister on the outside. You can barely see my sisters belly, but thats my little niece Ellie up in there. My sister is now 34 weeks pregnant, she's small for how far along she is. Cute little mama & baby Ellie! Okay now may I direct your attention to the red bracelet or 'Armstrong' like band around my cousins wrist. This band is for leukemia, I bought them for the family about two weeks ago as Grandmas battle got harder. It was a personal reminder for me to pray for her plus it supports the LLS. Anyway, so I sent my dad to Lubbock with 3...1 for my aunt, 1 for my uncle and 1 for my Grandma. I wanted my Grandma to know I was thinking about her. So this little band is what made me cry the most when I saw my Grandma laying there in the casket. I look at her all dressed up in that purple suit and then I see her wrist there with the band around it. I wear my bracelet still, this is the 3rd loss I have experienced due to leukemia. First my 2nd grade teacher Mrs. Graham, then my Papaw and now my Grandma. I wear my band everyday as a reminder of those three people whom I loved dearly.  

Tonight is the most exciting night of the entire year because tonight Santa will come. I'm laying here in bed next to my sister. Every year is the same ole story, we get sent to bed so because as you know Santa comes once your asleep. But what little kid can fall asleep when they are as excited as I am? My sister and I will talk for hours trying to keep each other up so we can peek and see if Santa has come yet. My grandparents have a grandfather clock so we hear every hour arrive.

DING-DING-DING-DING-DING-DING-DING-DING-DING-DING-DING

"Jana, its 11, go see if Santa's come!!!" Nicole anxiously demands me to go check. I creep out the door and around the hall and...NOTHING! I creep back to the room and crawl in bed only to tell my sister the disappointing news. We continue to talk and goof off.

DING-DING-DING-DING-DING-DING-DING-DING-DING-DING-DING-DING

"Okay, its your turn!" I say to my sister. Nicole hops out of bed and heads for the door. She slowly opens the door and peaks around the corner. And again, NOTHING! She crawls back in bed only to disappoint me this time. We keep talking because we can't fall asleep as excited as we are about Santa's arrival.

DING!

"Jana, go hurry!" I creep around the corner yet again, and yep your right still nothing. But now we're actually starting to get tired. We both start to doze off, but we know that when the clock strikes two Nicole has to check the living room. We're both fading quick...

DING-DING!

I roll over and give my sister a little nudge, "your turn." She slowly gets out of bed this time, our energy is dwindling. Around the corner, and still nothing. She crawls in bed and tells me the news, I'm barely hanging on and after she says theres nothing I roll over and doze off. Shes out in no time.

DING-DING-DING!

I feel a nudge in my back, "Jan, your turn!" And you guessed it, NOTHING! This time we're officially gone. We miss the 4:00 & 5:00 chimes. But we're waken by the 6th...

DING-DING-DING-DING-DING-DING!

We both jump to our feet and head for the door, and guess what? SANTA CAME!!!!! We jet to the stockings and the presents. We ooo and ahh! Then we head off to our parents room, its time for everyone to wake up. "Mom, Dad, Santa Came. Wake up, wake up!!" We get to open our stockings from 'Denton' but not the 'Lubbock' stockings. Thats right, Santa knows that we were in Lubbock and still dropped stuff off in our Denton stockings in Lubbock plus we got our Lubbock stockings too. My sister and I sit down on the floor pulling one thing after the other out of our stockings. When we finish we head for the kitchen for breakfast. We're trying so hard to be patient as we wait for my aunt, uncle & cousin to come over so we can start opening the Lubbock stockings then gifts. Finally they arrive and we get to open all of our gifts. We rip present to present open and our faces fill with glee. Christmas truly is the best time of the year.

Now that you realize all of that was a story, I can now talk as Jana the 22-year-old. I have to say me & my sister don't exactly check for Santa every hour anymore. But I still have trouble falling asleep Christmas Eve and I'm stoked when I finally make it downstairs to see my stocking full of surprises. Now let's stop for a minute and consider the story of my childhood, the excitement of Santa arriving! Now lets for a minute think about the reason for the season...Christ's coming! So now that I've pointed that out, how many of us feel a little bad about the fact that we don't get that excited about Christ's coming. I can't say that I've ever stayed up most of the night because I was so excited about Christ's coming! The other night I heard on the news that they are trying to change it from Christmas tree to Holiday tree, what the crap? As if people don't use, Merry X-Mas instead of Merry Christmas or even now we just say Season's Greetings or Happy Holidays. I remember when I worked at Old Navy and we had to say Happy Holidays and not Merry Christmas for it might offend someone. How dumb, the reason for the season is Christ's coming. Its not Santa's coming. I kind of like that Christmas is on Sunday morning this year, kind of exciting. I just hope that we can all remember the reason for the season this year. And maybe think about how excited we use to get about Santa's arrival or maybe even how excited we still are and be able to have some of that same excitement for the arrival of our King.

So I'm gonna go ahead and say it...the church is pretty darn pathetic. (myself included) Isn't it sad that we can often find things outside of the church to comfort us in our mourning or to befriend us when all we want is to be loved. Why can't we find those things with in the comfort of our own church? Are we missing some piece? I've heard it a lot from many people, and I feel it myself. My dearest friend, Mik told me to listen to Stained Glass Masquerade by Casting Crowns so here I am listening to it on repeat. And wow how pathetic we are as a church. Here's the lyrics:

Is there anyone that fails?
Is there anyone that fails?
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small?
'Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong
So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitations open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain on our stained glass masquerade
Is there anyone who's been there?
Are there any hands to raise?
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage
The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart
But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind ht person
That you imagine me to be
Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

It's sad to me that this morning when I was hurting I felt the need to put on my 'Happy Face' and pick myself up because if I didn't no one would have the desire to talk to me. This morning tons of people asked me this question, "How was your thanksgiving?" Which to most everyone responds, "Great, how was yours?" But my answer wasn't what most wanted to hear. My response to such a question is..."it wasnt so great, I lost my Grandma on Monday." They pause and stare at me as if I said something wrong. For crying in the mud people, I lost my Grandma give me a break. I'm sad, its a normal response to death. I felt as if I needed to be more positive and respond, 'oh my thanksgiving was great.' While yes I do realize its good to pull the positive out from the week. Praise God my Grandma is with Him in Heaven now, but that doesn't mean it won't hurt. And yes I'm thankful that I got to spend time with my family for a week. But still with all the praises from this week, my overall view of the week is that it wasn't that great. Maybe I should be more optimistic about the situation, but I'm hurting so let me hurt. Just be my friend and stop running scared. We as a church have forgotten what its like to love one another.

Another note on the song. Above the song is this little response about the song:

I don't think it bothers the world that we sin. I think it bothers the world that we act like we don't. There are times that instead of being myself and exposing my own weakness and hurt, I portray a character of the person that I know I should be. But when I expose myself as weak and frail at times, it frees the Body of Christ to restore me as it should and invites other to unmask as well.

So true, so true. Not only with sin, but me today being upset and having to mask that so that people think I am one way. Let's be real with one another. I know I'm not scared. I desire it more than anything that when someone says "how are you?" I can respond, "I'm not doing so great." And then that person is able to pray for me and help build me up. What a blessing we could be to one another if we were willing (1) to be honest and (2) to use such a response to bless that person. I'm not afraid to say I'm hurting, but no one knows how to respond to that. Maybe its time we learn how to respond.

So this morning we went to the Funeral Home to see the body and I thought I would be fine. But then I noticed that she had her 'Relentless' bracelet on. I ordered our entire family those livestrong like bracelets but they are ones for leukemia. So when I saw the bracelet around her wrist I lost it. It's cool because my entire family has them on, I'm glad I bought them. I wish I was older, its amazing what people do for one another concerning death. My family has got so much support from their friends and work crews and its nice. I wish that people my age understood how to be there for someone through death. Really it doesn't take much... I wouldn't mind a "Hang in There" or a "I'm Praying for You" or "I'm sorry about your loss", but I think people get too scared and I frankly think its crap. I have had some very good friends through this though, as if they haven't always been really good friends. Johnny & Mik have checked on me lots which is such a blessing. And my best friend back home Chels has been great too. Then of course Lexy has been great, I stayed with her last night and tonight. And she took off work tomorrow so that she can go to the funeral which means A LOT to me! But outside of those 4 people everyone else just doesn't know how to react. I did get a text message from Nikki which was nice. And I called Shannon to let her know what had happened. And I'm sure I'll get more support from them once I'm back in Denton. But I have several friends in Lubbock that really haven't done much and its kind of hard to take in. I shouldn't care, but I do. Oh well... Anyway, my Grandma has an online memorial. So check it out, http://www.mem.com/display/Biography.asp?id=1083201

So my Grandma died around 7am this morning. It's kind of weird. The funeral is going to be Wednesday morning which is nice because it will be before Thanksgiving. I'm not so much looking forward to Thanksgiving itself. I'm trying to be positive about it, and while its amazing that my Grandma is now in Heaven. It's just hard to loose someone especially around the holidays. I am glad that I get to be with my entire family for the holidays though, its been awhile since we've done that. So its good. That I am thankful for. Plus I am in Lubbock for the week and my closest friends are all staying the entire week so I get to see my dearest friends. I love it!! Anyway, thats enough update for me...

Little Grandma Update...

My Grandma has been moved out of the hospital and into Carillon's. She has been taking off the IV's and the doctor says she has about 24-48hrs. remaining in her life here on earth. I'm not so sure I believe that because they told us that about my Grandma Gee and she lived for a while longer. But it would be good if Grandma passed on. My sister can travel better now than she will be able to in a month or even after that. With little Ellie coming this probably would be the best time for this to happen. Although, it would be great if Grandma could see her first Grandbaby. I'm doing pretty good right now, occasionally I'll shed a few tears. It's exciting that Grandma gets to join the rest of my dearly loved ones soon, and she gets to be with Jesus. But I'll miss her here on earth. I think one of the biggest heartaches that comes with death is holidays, I'm sure all of you that have lost someone realize how hard that is. But with the holidays just around the corner it seems to add a little sense of pain. It's weird to think that in a month I'll be celebrating Christ's birth with my family and my Grandma won't be here. Weird. I mean, really really really weird. I am trying to look at this all so positively, and what really helps is knowing that in a little over a month we will have a new addition to our family. So here's my weekend/week at a glance. Tonight pick up Heather from the airport, tomorrow drive to Tyler, Sunday baby shower in Tyler then sometime Sunday night head back to Denton. Monday morning head to Lubbock with Heather. Then that part is kind of fuzzy as of now, if Grandma does die I may be there all week if not I may return Wednesday to spend Thanksgiving in Tyler then perhaps back to Lubbock. Who knows at this point. So pray for our family as we will be doing lots of traveling over this next week or so and also for the death of our Grandma. Thanks!!

Okay, so yesterday me & Nikki went on a shoe shopping excursion and this my friends is how the little event ended. Go ahead guess which shoe is mine... 

Nothing like driving out to Forestburg and finding the best street sign in all of Texas, 'Seldom Seen Rd' and thats definately the ghost of Nikki walking near the sign... 

Nothing too much going on in my life still, things are sweet though. We went dancing last night at Red River something or another in Dallas, it was a good ole time. Nothing like a long night of lots and lots of country music. I learned that I can't dance with guys my height or shorter, its useless to try even. So yet another reason I like tall cowboys, it just works for me. I had a blast last night. And tonight we went out to a town called, "Forrestburg" to enjoy a campfire with hot dogs and smores. Plus we hiked up this hill to watch the sun set, it was incredible. I have pictures so perhaps I'll post them later.This morning I was suppose to go decorate cakes with Cindy, but she got a wedding cake last minute and it didn't end up working out. But hopefully soon I'll get a chance to go learn to decorate cakes and before you know it I'll be decorating cakes. Maybe I can have my own little side business. Tonight as we were driving back from BFE we decided that we needed to take a road trip soon. So in January when life calms down I think we'll head out. But first we must buy a pair of cowboy boots, I know that sounds random but it will make sense when we actually make the trip. Man Shannon, Nikki & Shauna are great!! This week I'm subbing for a resource class at a middle school, kind of nervous about it but whatever. Friday night Heather flies in then Saturday we head to Tyler. I am possibly heading to Lubbock on Monday then Thanksgiving in Tyler. Thanksgiving week shall be busy, but it will be good too. Anyway, I'm tired I'm going to bed...lata friends!

So my Grandma is in the hospital with infections in her skin and blood. She has leukemia for all you who need to be clued in. But thus far it hasn't really hit me, I'm kind of numb to it all. I've experienced a lot of family death and I'm not so sure I really want to experience another one. But at the same time I know I can handle it just as I handle the other 4. My Papaw, which is my Grandma's spouse died in April of 1993 infact the day before my 10th birthday. My Granddad proceeded to die the following summer from a sudden heart attack. My Uncle Toot died September of 2001 and my GeeMa died October of 2003. Pray for my Grandma, for her health. She doesn't so much have an immune system hence the two infections. And honestly, pray for her death, that we her family will be prepared as well as herself. My sister is due in January and it would be nice for my Grandma to experience having her first grandchild, but thats Lord willing. I know its hard for my sister and cousin perhaps to realize that death really seems a good alternative maybe, but me I say lets get this thing over with. My Granddad was the only one that died a quick death and the other 3 had these drawn out deaths, and they are hard...real hard. So thats why I ask that we are all prepared for it, no matter when it is. Pray that I won't stay numb, and that I will allow my emotions to play out. Losing my Grandma Gee was the hardest thing I've ever gone through and now I'm just numb to the very thought of my Grandma being sick. So prayer is good.

Pray for me, I've had many challenges in the past month or so. And I need muchos prayers. Thus far in my move here I've only had one close friend to share my deepest thoughts with. I love her much and cherish her friendship, its easy to share my life with her since I've known her for like 12 years, but I also want new friendships. And not just these see yah next weekend friendships. I wanna be built up and have fellowship with these people. I wanna share my life with them and have them share their life with me. The only other person I really get to talk to about my life on a regular basis lives 3 1/2 hours away, but I do cherish his friendship. He is always there for me and praying for me, and I love that about him. I cherish my friends dearly, but I just want to grow more intimate with my singles group. I want that accountability and genuine fellowship. I'm really starting to get to know people and I love them dearly. But now I wanna go deeper. Tomorrow night I'm meeting with Diane for dinner to talk and go over some stuff, so I'm stoked about that. So just pray for me please.

Okay, I think thats a good update for now! Have a tremendous week! And GO TECH! 56-17 is AMAZING!!

How old are you?? Neat little trick, I tried it several ways and it still came out right every time. Too bad thought I really don't like to have chocolate that often during a week.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like
to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1755 ...
If you haven't, add 1754.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number The first digit of this was your
original number (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each
week).

The next two numbers are...

YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)

This will only work during the year 2005, so don't be trying it come January.

Okay I stole this from my friend Alexis, but it really got me thinking and my adrenaline running. So I want to hear everyone else's opinion even if it differs from my own. So now take a minute to read this article,
http://www.dailytoreador.com/vnews/display.v/ART/2005/10/27/4360528fd7674?in_archive=1

Now that you have read the article post a comment before proceeding to read the rest of my entry. If you choose to continue to read, please post your comments even if you don't agree with my own. So here goes it...

I definately have strong opinions about all of this and mine deal mostly with Character and Godliness. Christian dating vs. what this girl seems to be talking about. I only guess its not Christian dating from the fact that she defines dating by kissing and havivng sexual relations:)

First the 10 minutes late thing talks about 3 dates in a row or more. And yes I believe that is disrespectful. I understand a one time thing, sometimes there is traffic, etc. But if its continual than he needs to have better time management. Its not that hard to be on time somewhere. Be a man of your word, show up when you said you would. It shows a lot about your character. And amazingly there is a thing called a phone and most of us have cell phones, so if you are caught in traffic or something call...you have no excuse. If its a first date be extremely cautious to not be late. And ladies...be ready early, do not make a guy wait for you. I've actually heard girls say that they don't get ready on time to make him wait, I'm pretty sure that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

As far as oversalting and adding ketchup goes, I have no opinion. But undertiping is another sign of perhaps a lack of character. I love going on a date with a guy who knows how to tip well. It's just respectful to leave your waitor/waitress a good tip. Nothing like going on a date and having the guy only tip 5% and having to teach him how to tip.

As far as talking about ex's, I know many of us have been hurt by them and honestly don't really want to say anything positive about them. But may I say from personal experience that people change and who "Bob" was 6 months ago may be totally different than who he is now. We actually learn from our mistakes and how horriable would it be to have that all ruined for us. Tell a close friend how you really feel about Bob but respect Bob around others, he deserves it even if he did treat you like crap. Help him maintain a good reputation. You can always talk about the positive traits Bob had. Plus, bitterness isn't attractive and its not so attractive when you bash someone. Who knows what they would be saying about you later...

Now dating time, I think thats dumb. All of the guys I've dated only lasted a month and with good reason. I knew after a month that they weren't worth my time and that they weren't right for me. Unfortunately I should have realized that from the beginning. But if they only dated someone for 3 months that its good that they aren't wasting time keeping someone around who they won't end up marrying. I personally worry more about those who have dated for a couple years and can't make a commitment or those who have been in several very long relationships. But thats just me.

And split date paying on the first date...I totally agree. He should pay if its a date. If he didn't pay for the first date, then perhaps it wasn't a date at all and he was just wanting to go out as friends. In fact I even think that the first few dates should be paid for by him. Don't be cheap, if you can't afford a nice restraunt don't take the girl to a nice restraunt...take her somewhere you can afford. And girls be respectful and don't order the most expensive meal on the menu. Now for women paying, I think its a great idea to suggest paying. Don't make him always pay. And what great character can be shown when they won't allow you to pay. I have great respect for a friend of mine who makes sure he has money to take a girl out or he won't ask her out at all. He refuses to let a girl pay no matter what. I love that about him, it shows such great character. Oh and guys, please be respectful when the girls chooses to pay. Nothing like the time I paid for my boyfriend and when he normally ordered fairly light he ordered this huge $20 meal, talk about a red flag:)

Like where's waldo, but instead...where's Jana? My friend Russell couldn't find me anywhere. Sometime's I wonder about him...

So my friend, Nikki is the one in the Whoopie Cushion and well we decided to run by Dollar Tree to finish off Shannon's costume...the angel. Anyway, they both own fart machines so of course Nikki had hers with her since she was a giant whoopie cushion. We are walking through the place and she is setting it off occasionally. And as we are standing in line she sets it off and this little girl turns around and looks at her as if she just committed the worst sin of all...Farting in Public. Oh it was hysterical. We had fun with it! The party was fun, I carved a Double T in my pumpkin and I then quickly met 3 Tech grads. I thought there were only 3 of us, but now there are 6. Wahoo, WRECK EM' TECH!!!

Fart Football

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, "Seven Points."

His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"  The old man replied, "It's fart football."

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says "Touchdown, tie score."

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, "Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7."

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score."

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14." Now the pressure is on
the old man.

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it
everything he's got, and accidentally poops in bed.

The wife says, "What was that?"

The old man says, "Half time, switch sides."

So, I kind of like shooting stars a lot. And last night I saw my 3rd one ever. I like them because they are fairly rare and when I see one it reminds me of God's love for me.

Last night I went out to a friends house in Sanger and I had a grand ole time. Not only was able to spend time with two very dear friends but I was able to enjoy nature and things I love. Okay, perhaps this will make me sound like a dork, but whatever. I have always and will always be obsessed with houses that are kind of like cabin in the woods type of thing. I don't really know how to explain it...stone masonry, wood, leather couches, etc. The cowboy home perhaps... Then outside...cattle, horses, pooches, an incredible night sky, then a shooting star. I was in my own little heaven.

This weekend I went to visit my sister and I had a good time as always. We did baby stuff and looked for fabric for the baby room. We watched the rather unfortunate Tech vs. Texas game that made all of us Raiders rather ill. But I got to hang out with my sister so that's cool. I really like only being 2 1/2 hours from her, because now I can see her whenever I want. I love her lots!

In Loving Memory of GeeMa!!! 10/18/03  

Okay, I was told I need to post so here it is. I don't have much to say, life is good. No particular reason, well Jesus because with Him everything is good even when its not so good. Last week I was sick all week, stupid allergies. I am just now getting over them and well it sucks, nothing like having those coughs that you can't really fully cough...do you get what I'm saying? Anyway. I only subbed one day last week and it was Friday for Pre-K, I was late because I slept through my alarm. The day wasn't too bad, I always have a little devil in my class...every class has one. Friday night I went to the beginning of Singles Retreat. It was good, although I was very spacey because of the cold. Stayed around and played Apples to Apples with my new friends then came home and crashed. I woke up bright and early on Saturday morning to attend Day 2 of Singles Retreatin'. Retreat was good, God is good. Played cheesey kids games, but had a blast. Saturday night I was suppose to babysit Caleb which I was excited about because I was gonna have the best date of my life plus I was getting to see a movie no one else would go see with me. But instead I got to hang out with my best friend, Chelsey and eat at my favorite restraunt, Bennigan's. I'm excited because me & Chels are starting a bible study together this week...wahoo! Sunday morning I went to church, but left right afterwards because my snotty nosed self was a little beat. I spent all day Sunday shopping with Chels. Then headed to church Sunday night, I love Tommy Nelson by the way. After church I headed to get dinner then decided I wanted to eat with people so I called Brian and joined the group at El Guapo. I came home and watched Extreme Makeover Home Edition and it was good. Got ready early today and was stoked to be making it early to work, but then I got pulled over for rolling a stop sign. Stupid cops!! I subbed for 2nd graders today and I decided it would be a good day no matter what and I had fun. I did have to send one kid to the office, but after losing him it really was a good day:) Talked to a very dear friend after work for a long while and it was good, real good. He challenged me with some scriptures so I had an enjoyeable time looking up some stuff. Talked to another really good friend tonight which was incredible. And then I just found out that two dear friends of mine are coming in town this weekend and I'll be gone and I am very sad. But on a bright note, I am going to Tyler to see my sister and to go with Rachel to the football game. Anyway, thats my life...I'll try to update this week...but really I don't find my life interesting so its sometimes hard for me to post.

They call me "Whiskers" because I'm curious like a cat...

Okay, so shouldn't this say...if you consume 3 or more alcoholic bevarages a day then contact your local AA. I wouldn't think it would be in any way healthy for any human to consume 3 or more alocoholic beverages daily with out saying they have a problem. But thats just me...
 

So from the same place I found the boyfriend pillow, I bring you the butt face towel. I'm pretty sure me & my sister use to call each other butt face. So here's the question I ask myself...exactly how would you use this towel...hang the white over your face and its actually long enough for the butt part to fall over your butt then you get to show off full frontal:) Because I am highly confused how a towel would even begin to work with butt in back and face in front. Anybody? I keep trying to wrap myself up it in visually, and I personally would have one word missing no matter how I try it. Meanwhile, the guy behind the towel is mighty hot...can I order me one of those?! 

Three Wishes...

Holy moly, this is an incredible show. Everytime I watch it my eyes fill with tears and soon those tears turn to deep sobbing. It's incredible to watch Amy Grant let wishes come true for a few select people. While yes it seems unfair to the other thousands that aren't being helped, but its neat to see a difference being made in peoples lives. Tonight I watched both last weeks show and this weeks and there were two wishes that I just absolutely loved.

First, this little 8-year-old girl who had suffered a brain tumor. Her wish was this: "my wish is to help other kids get better." This little girl had a lot of faith in God, and it impressed me. After talking of her tumor she said, "a lot of people prayed for me and I think that really helped me." Then at the end of the show she asked everyone to take a moment to pray for all of the sick people. This little girl had such a heart for other people, sad that she is 8 and has that big of a heart for people and most of us can't say the same for ourselves. She went with Amy Grant to the hospital and delivered toys to all these little kids, then they threw a birthday party for a little boy with leukemia. At his party his super hero, Superman showed up. Then at the end of the show they had a free concert, but the community was asked to bring childrens book to help the hospital. And lastly they gave this girl's doctor $10,000 to provide care for all the children. All this occured because one little girl wanted to help other kids feel better. How incredible!

The second story was of an incredible family of 7. The father had gotten brain cancer and half of his body was paralyzed and he was told he didn't have long to live. The family had wished for him to be able to enjoy the last part of his life and that they just wanted to see him smile and laugh again. So they wanted to throw him a big reunion of friends. The dad wanted to make sure that his family was taken care of when he was gone. He made a video for the son where he gave the son a SUV and told him he would need it to take care of the family. Then he left his four daughters necklaces to wear at their weddings for its every fathers dream to see their daughters walk downt he aisle. So Amy Grant and her crew put together a family reunion. They gave the husband a nice garden in the backyard to enjoy with his family for now. Then at the end they blew the top off with full rides to college for the mother and all 5 children plus paying off the mortgage on their home. Hearing this lady talk about her husband amazed me, the way she loved him and how living with out him seemed impossible. She was most worried about being able to provide for her family when he was gone and Amy Grant provided that for her. Their faith in God made the story even more sweet. To see that he still prays and is thankful for every day. He thanks God every day for letting him live another day. I think we often forget to live each day to its fullest not knowing if it could be our last or thanking God for the day he's given us.

These stories are a sweet reminder of Gods love for his people. And especially a great reminder to those of us who have pretty great lives and these people whose lives are falling apart really and truly have hope. And they haven't at all lost faith. They live every day just the way we should...to its fullest. So make sure you make the best of today. I love you all!

"I believe that nothing that happens to me is meaningless, and that it is good for us all that it should be so, even if it runs counter to our own wishes. As I see it, I'm here for some purpose, and I only hope I may fulfill it. In the light of the great purpose all our privations and disappointments are trivial." -Dietrich Bonhoeffer

"We are made for God, and nothing less will really satisfy us." -Brennan Manning

"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." -Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

"Graces tell us that we are accepted just as we are. We may not be the kind of people we want to be, we may be a long way from our goals, we may have more failures than achievements, we may not be wealthy or powerful or spiritual, we may not even be happy, but we are nonetheless accepted by God, held in His hands." -McCullough

"When we allow God the privilege of shaping our lives, we discover new depths of purpose and meaning. What a joyful thought to realize you are a chosen vessel for God-perfectly suited for His use." -Joni Eareckson Tada

Thats all. I have nothing to say really, these quotes really sum it all up for me.

So this is for all those people who are way too lonely. I saw this and I couldn't stop laughing...a boyfriend pillow. Can you imagine walking into your friends place and seeing hte boyfriend pillow laying in their bed? Haha. Okay, I'm easily amused!! 

So tonight I had the sudden urge to dye my hair on my own. Perhaps this could not be the best of situations, but I did it anyway. Mom said there was a box downstairs but it might not be the right color. So I grab the box and its pretty much perfect. So I dye my hair this brown color, really pretty I might add. Then I get the blonde highlighting kit out and I start adding my blonde, not as easy as one would think probably a lot having to do with the fact that my hair is frizzing and the blonde isnt staying where it should, etc. So me & mom get this brilliant idea to just go ahead and brush it in instead of using this little "magical" wand they give us. So we do. I take my shower and go to my room to let it dry, and hour later I go to the restroom and look in the mirror to see that my hair is red and blonde. When I got carried away with brushing my hair I think the blonde turned the brown red and the blond highlights actually turned blonde. So my hair is kind of a Strawberry Blonde...so tomorrow I will wake up and decide if I like it or if I'm scared. If I'm scared I'm dying my hair dark brown and then in about a month I'll have the blond added in...oh what a dumby I am! And by the way, why can you spell blonde two ways? Blond or Blonde? Sames goes with gray or grey...couldn't we just make up our minds? Anyway, I need to sleep but I'm not tired. But I wake up in 6 hrs to go sub for 4th graders. Short day which means I'm taking a nap tomorrow afternoon while my mom and sister shop in Canton with out me...sad day, very very sad day. I don't get to enjoy the entire Canton baby shopping experience which I'm kind of sad about especially sicne I was the one that was sooooo excited about going and reminded the other two nuts about it. But I have to work tomorrow and Nicole wants to shop in Dallas Saturday, so no Canton for me...but perhaps its for the better. I get to do little baby girl stuff this weekend and I'm stoked. I bought the CUTEST little outfit this week. I love my little Ellie, I can't wait for her to get here.

Okay, I am trying to pick my new hair style/color. I could only find two pictures of me with short hair and they arent very good. But then I have pictures of my hair ranging from blond to red to dark brown...what do u like best?! I need your votes!! 

An insert from the book 'Blue Like Jazz' by Donald Miller:

"I think that the devil has tricked us into thinking so much of biblical theology is story fit for kids. How did we come to think the story of Noah's ark is appropriate for children? Can you imagine a children's book abotu Noah's ark complete with paintings of people gasping in gallons of water, mothers grasping their children while their bodies go flying down white-rapid rivers, the children's tiny head being bashed against rocks or hung up in fallen trees? I don't think a children's book like that would sell many copies."

Wow! As I read this little insert pictures of Hurricane Katrina flew through my mind. I saw pictures of women dead in the water clinging to their babies. I saw a picture of a pregnant lady laying dead on the side of the road. I saw all those images that are imbedded in my head now...people screaming for help, and all the while this ark floating by not helping anyone. Do not at all take this as me relating the Hurrianes to God's doing with the flood. But now as I think about Noah's Ark and the story of such events, its more than just a man building a boat getting his family and 2 of every kind on a boat to be safe. I see what went on outside of the boat. Okay, anyway...I am going to continue reading some more for tonight. And I suggest Blue Like Jazz as a good to pick up and read.

A paper about Jesus Christ that I wrote when I was 13-years-old. It makes me laugh a little, but I was a wise kid too...mind you I am not fixing any of the mistakes because that makes it even more funny.

Jesus Christ is the world's greatest leader and he has done the most incredible things. Not one man on the faec of the earth could be better than him. Billy Graham is a great leader, but not as good as Jesus.
How many people were born in a manger and had wiseman and shepards come to worship you? Not one person that I could think of was born as the son of God. At the age of 12 he was already entered into so many hearts. He was with many people walking home from the Feast of the Passover by each of their sides. He is so wonderful that he is with everyone all the time. Can you walk beside each of your friends, can you be with each friend at the same time but at different places? I don't think so, not even a chance. Jesus wasn't baptized until the age of 31. His cousin, John the Baptist, baptized him in the Jordan River. Being baptized is a way to show that you want to go to Heaven and live your life eternally because God gave his only son so that we could be loved in Heaven instead of burn in Hell. "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son that whoever so believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life," John 3:16. God loves each and every one of us so much that he gave his son to be beat and hung.
After his baptism he went aroudn the world to share the good news. He told people to treat others as they wanted to be treated, put God's will first, trust God to care for you day and night, wherever you are, and to live a perfect life, and to live a perfect life because God is perfect. If someone says that you are ugly, annoying, pig headed, rude, or says that harsh words "I hate you," and you don't like it, well think about that when you say something rude like dork it hurts their feelings just as it would hurt yours if they said it to you. God is before anyone so put him first, friends, siblings, pupils, adults, parents, relatives, teachers, coaches and peers before yourself. Then after you have put God first, and others second you can put yourself last. God loves you so much that he knows how many hairs that are on your head, who you will marry, and each and every secret that you don't want anyone to know he knows. Why would God make you if he didn't love you. You will always be beauiful in God's eyes no matter what Suzy or Bobby thinks! He wants you to live a wonderful life because all things are possible with Christ in your life. He had his twelve apostles which were his helpers or assistants to go and do as he did by teaching, preaching, and healing the sick. The twelve left and did as Jesus wanted them to. One day long ago a mob of people came to Jesus to be fed because they had no food so Jesus preached to them all day and then he asked the twelve to go find food. All they could find was 5 rolls and 2 fish. He fed over 500 people with just 5 rolls and 2 fish. Jesus had the most accomplishments anybody could ever have.
You might be familiar with the phrase the Lords Supper. But if you don't know what it is, it is when Christian's take his body and eat it and then taking his blood and drink it. He was with the disciples and he took the bread and broke it into little pieces and he said to them take this peice and eat it as if it was my body. Then he passed the wine and told them to drink as if it was his blood, "do this in remembrance of me," he said. Later on they wanted Jesus to be killed so they had to get Pilate's approval, Pilate wouldn't at first but then he gave in and sentenced Hesus. They put Jesus in a purple robe and placed a crown of thorns on his head, they also gave him a speer. This way he looked like a King. Then they made fun of him, and then stoned him to where he was so sore. Then they made him carry his cross to the place where he would die. When the cross was put down at the top of the hill and then they nailed him to the cross. He layed on the cross in tremendous pain for six hours then he died. There is this poster that has someone asking Christ how much he lvoed them and he said this much and spread out his arms and died. He loves us so much that he died for us. That means so much to me and I hope that everybody realizes how important he is.
I hope that I'm not the only person who thinks Jesus is the most unbelieveable man that ever lived. Always remember God loves you and cares about you.

So now I know why I was so horriable in english in college, because I was never taught grammer or how to write a paper. I wasn't corrected at all really...just a few spelling errors. But I had terriable mistakes and definately a few run-on sentences. Maybe my teacher was just being nice. But hey, I loved Jesus.

I officially reside in Denton now. Yesterday morning we packed up my stuff and then headed on our way. Saying goodbye to Lexy was hard just as I figured it would be. I teared up a little but had to control myself. I'm gonna miss her lots. Her & my new friend across the street. Plus my newest friend, Stefanie. The drive was pretty long yesterday, but me & my mom kept ourselves entertained. Last night we unloaded the truck, locked up the trailor and relaxed. Today we unloaded the trailor and put the furniture in my room. Tomorrow I will unload boxes, I'm too warn out today to do anything else. Tomorrow I get to go finish my paperwork at DentonISD and perhaps Tuesday I will start subbing. I'm rather excited about subbing here because I know lots of people here, fun for me. Once I get settled in I will start visiting friends in the area to see how they have been and to hang out. Then I have some friends coming in town next weekend that I wanna see so thats always fun. Next Sunday I shall try out a new church, a singles ministry. I am nervous about doing this alone. But I am anxious about it at the same time. Today I went to my home church to hear my daddy sing a solo. I nearly didn't have anything to wear, I had to go to Target this morning and buy a shirt to wear with some pants. And wore some of my moms shoes. An interesting outfit that I had to throw together rather quickly. All that was unpacked was dress pants & tennis shoes, didnt think that would make for a cute sunday outfit. Anywho. In two weeks I get to go shopping with my mom & sister in Canton for baby stuff, way exciting. I am going to start studying for the GRE this week so I can kind of start to plan my future. I gotta find a good coffee shop, I think I'll try out the one my dear friend Johnny goes to when he's in town. I hope that I start making friends soon, so pray for that if you will. Pray for lots of things actually. I am off to finish the watching the Emmy's and laying in bed...long day!!!

Okay, so I only have 2 days left in Lubbock. Kind of weird. I didn't realize this day would ever come. It's sad that I'm leaving this place, but at the same time so good that it covers the sadness. I really do look forward to living in Denton again. I am anxious to make many new friends while also reconnecting with many old friends. I've been subbing everyday this week and packing at night, or periodically through the day. I am starting to say my goodbyes which is just terriably sad. Last night I had dinner with Steph, I'll miss going to OTB with her and having really good talks. Last night Tory came over and hung out, so that goodbye is over. I'm really really sad about that goodbye too. I was looking forward to become better friends this year. I mean who's to say we can't still be come better friends, we just won't get to hang out. I said goodbyes to a lot of people Sunday morning, but now the next two days are probably going to be full of goodbyes...I'm not ready for them all. Especially saying bye to my best friend & roommate, wow, thats gonna be hard. We already cried at the beginning of the week about it. Lexy, I am going to miss you soooo much. But may the distance not distant us at all. We must visit one another often and talk lots like we do now. Dang, I didn't realize how crappy it was gonna be to have to say "See Ya Later" to you. But we'll make the best of the next two days, for sure. Well tonight I'm eating dinner with Jared and possibly Arielle so I'm excited about that. Then I'll probably hang out with my roommates since Marissa is leaving tomorrow for Austin. I think tomorrow night I'm suppose to go to the movie with Britt, but not sure how that's gonna play itself out. My mom flys in at 8:55 and then Saturday morning we pack up and head out, insanity. If you haven't gotten your goodbye in, then you might wanna stop by Friday because I'll be stuck in the house packing all day. And if you don't care to say bye, then lets this be my bye...peace out!

Sucks is meeting 2 of the coolest guys two weeks ago that live across the street. I really looked forward to getting to know them, although we are going to keep in touch. But still, it was exciting that they lived across the street and stuff. But then on top of that yesterday I met this coolest girl. We clicked immediately and we got to talking during our conference period at work. It was sooo fun! So now we are going to make sure to keep in touch because we really got close, and yes in one day. Go figure I meet 3 really cool people right before I leave. Dumb!

My mom already got the paperwork and stuff for me to get in the Subfinder in Denton, so next week I should get to start subbing. I am hopefully going to go to The Village Sunday, but we'll see it just depends on how time goes by on Saturday with moving. I look forward to seeing my friends in the greater Dallas area, if you are there and I don't have your number make sure to get it to me so we can hang out. Look forward to it! Wahoo for being close to good ole Renee again. And being near my best friend since 7th grade and her amazing 2 year old son! Wow I get to be there for his 3rd birthday, thats sooooo exciting to me. Wow, a tear!

I'm moving home in a week. Yep, a week from today I shall pack up a UHAUL trailor and head to Denton. I'm really excited about leaving Lubbock...that whole Lubbock in my Rearview Mirror really works for me. Four years was plenty of time for me to be in this town. I will miss many things about being here, but for me I know I need to get out of this town. I need to go to a new place and start a new life. I'm excited about being involved in a Single's ministry. I'm excited about being closer to my family, especially now that I am going to be an aunt. But I am sad to leave many of my dear friends. But if we're close friends leaving Lubbock shouldn't change that at all. Well I better get to it, I gotta a lot to do in the next week. A LOT!!!!

My Sister is gonna have a little girl!!!! I get to have a precious little niece named Ellison, we shall call her Ellie...WAHOO for January!

I'm currently vacationing in Tyler which has been rather enjoyable. My sister is starting to show a lot, which is way fun! She finds out Thursday what "it" is, and we're all guessing a girl and even crossing our fingers for it to be a girl. We went to Canton Saturday and it would have been a little more fun had we known what sex the child was because I'm pretty sure we would have bought tons of stuff. My favorite quote and Nicole's too was "I found my prince and I call him daddy", she cried and well to be honest I teared up too...but no one saw mine. I've been really teary eyed this past week, it's almost pathetic. I must have needed to cry, it sure has been some time. Wednesday night I teared up reading about The Haven, yah thats just pathetic. I've done plenty of crying about the Hurricane Disaster, I think nearly everytime I hear something about it or see someone from it I start to get really teary eyed. Thursday night I watched the news and cried through the entire thing. Then on my way to Tyler I kept seeing bus loads of people from it and I'd get teary eyed. Then Sunday morning I would see people at church and I'd get all teary eyed. I must just be a ball of emotions ready to burst. I haven't really let out any sobs yet, but I bet I could. My heart is really feeling this disaster business. I think I will volunteer once I get back to Lubbock. I would love to stay and volunteer here, but I can't just move to Tyler for a couple weeks although I would love to be around my sister for that time. I did make my sister go through her closet though, so she can take lots of clothes to the Red Cross place. I made curtains this weekend, it was challenging but fun. Tomorrow I have a meeting with the Marriage & Family Minister at Green Acres Baptist Church and I am really stoked about it. I am meeting with him to talk to him about schools, job oppurtunities and just any questions I have about my future. I am meeting with a guy from Denton Bible on Thursday about the same stuff, so its fun getting my foot in the door. I get to go to the dentist, orthodontist and possibly even the oral surgeon while I'm on my "vacation" if you will. Perhaps I should just go ahead and hit up all the other doctors I can think of.

Please pray for me as I have recently been really discouraged about my future. I know God has big things in store for me, but for some reason I am starting to feel really unsure about the future path I though I was going to take. I got a job offer today to be a childrens director at a church in Cedar Park, which does sound like an amazing oppurtunity. But if I am suppose to start my Masters program in the fall then I can't take the job. I want to find a job wherever I choose to go to school so that I can go to school and work full tiem at the same time. Sounds a bit insane, but if I don't work full time I won't be able to afford my schooling. Wouldnt it be nice to find a job that would pay for my masters progmram. Please pray for me that i wont be discouraged and that I would find a job.

well i've moved. it was actually kind of an amazing thing. you were probably all very lost after the last post, but now i can explain. my roommate broke up with her boyfriend which was much needed, but he was in a round about way our "landlord". he being the shady person he is, we up and moved. God provided us with a house the 2nd day we looked and we were able to move in on that very day. and mind you this house is amazing. we are paying the same that we were at the old house and its sooo great. the landlord is so nice and its kind of a month to month lease. so this is an amazing deal for all of us, it really is. i love my roommates still, even though we have are little arguments occasionally. but we're best friends so its nice because when we are irritated we can say how we feel and it works out. i wouldn't wanna live with anyone else. turns out the guys across the street are really cool which is good b/c we're really gonna miss John Wade our previous down the street buddy. there are some more college guys two houses down that seem cool too. only sad part is we had to go down to one cat and i think she misses the stinky a lot. she always wants outside now, she needs little stinkums to play with. and i'll admit it, i've fallen in love with cats. one day i want my own, but i'll still have my giant pooch. i'm beginning to see new breeds that are just beautiful, im not closeminded to the "lab" only in me. so i'm going to go see my little autumn tomorrow, shes gonna be soooo big...i'll cry. my sister finds out sept. 8th what the baby is, i can't wait!!!!!!!!!!! i'm gonna be a stinkin' aunt!!!

It's amazing to see answered prayers. Two years from the day the prayers probably started flowing we see an answer and the answer is one we have all been patiently awaiting. The tears in are eyes overwhelm us because its good to see how God has taken over the situation. The joy in our hearts stretches beyond capacity. We had gotten to the point where we couldn't say anything else, and all we could do was pray. But we were almost ready to give up on the prayers too. But we stayed faithful all this time and God has answered our prayers and all is good. I was sooo excited last night that I danced around my house, I haven't done that in forever. Well God is good!!!

i hate that i cant express my mind for if i do then i upset someone or people get mad at me because i'm not always cheery. im sorry but i dont exactly find myself capable of ALWAYS being happy. it is okay for me to have a bad day...I PROMISE!!!!

i get myself in a situation, my friend gives me spiritual advice and in my stubborness i argure all advice with him. every biblical point he makes, i make a selfish psychological argument. then i find myself later doing the same thing with someone else, but in turn i know what that person feels when they are arguing back with me. i get the spiritual stuff, i've heard it all...and i've read a lot. i just choose to ignore it in my own selfish desires. but i know it. so where is it that i let my spiritual mind take over and push aside all of my selfish psychological desires. this may not make sense to anyone but the two people i talked to today, but thats fine...i just wanted to get it off my chest. i feel better. thanks.

It sucks when a friend is telling you of a decision they have made and you know the decision isn't good for them, but there really isn't anything you can do. You are close enough to them to call them out on it and let them know you think they aren't making a good decision, but they aren't listening...not this time. I'm sure I have had plenty of friends tell me that a decision I was amking was unwise and I did it anyway, but it sucks when you can't do anything but watch your friend get hurt. I'm like a mother in the fact that I would do absolutely anything to protect my friends from being hurt even if that meant I had to be hurt. So it really sucks for me when I have to come to this point where there is nothing I can do for my friend to help them make a better decision. I stated my opinions and my concerns and now I must let them live their life. It just sucks because this past year I have made lots of mistakes and I wish my friend could learn from my mistakes and not make them for herself. They have seen the pain I have been through and although some of the stuff I did was mighty fun, I still came to a point of regret and they have seen it all with me and yet they are still making the decision despite that.

So whats been going on in my life? I feel like sharing a lot so you may choose to close the window now...

This past week was amazing as I got to be a part of the birth of my best friends little girl. It's awesome to see the joy this little girl brings to all who come near her. She's by far the most beautiful little baby I've ever seen in my entire life. Her parents love and adore her and seeing the love they have for each other and for their little one is sweet to me. It's good to know that Godly parents are going to raise her to grow up to be a Godly woman one day. Lauren & Josh are going to be amazing parents and I'm excited to see the blessings God has for these 3 as they continue their lives together. It's sweet to see the love Lauren has for little Autumn, and how this love has only grown daily since the day she found out she was pregnant and continues. This brings me to Sunday nights sermon by Tommy Nelson. He was talking about raising our children properly and it made me think of Lauren & Josh and the task they now carry as parents, and knowing that they will do as God has designed is amazing. The scripture was Psalm 127. One of the first things Tommy said was that for their to be a house built by the Lord than the husband must submit to God, so that the wife is able to submit to the husband and with that the children are able to submit to their parents. I look at Lauren & Josh and I see this vividly played out, by no means is Autumn old enough to show submission but I guarantee that Lauren & Josh fulfill these roles and that it will be easy for Autumn to submit to them because they are so in step with the Lord. Something about that is sooooo special to me. Tommy spoke a lot about raising your children properly to be good children and something that stuck out to me was "there is no pain that can overcome the joy of having good children, and there is no joy that can overcome the pain of having bad children". Not to brag on myself or my sister, but it's very true. My parents have been very blessed with very good children and I know that my mom finds peace in that. I don't know what she did, but she raised us the right way. We chose to follow God and we continually follow is path, although I've strayed many times my mom knows I'm headed the right way. I am so proud of the parents Lauren & Josh are going to be to Autumn and I'm stoked that Autumn gets to be raised in a very Godly home. Another couple I look forward to seeing their child be brought up in a Godly home is my very own sister. It's so sweet to see Godly people conceive children for you know that the child is safe in that house. May our generation truly bless the world by raising our children in Godly homes. I could continue on and on about how amazing I think Lauren & Josh are or how amazing my sister & her hubby are. But I don't think I could describe either of these couples highly enough to give them justice for the incredible women & men of God they are. I truly aspire to have a marriage like that. I love you all so much!! Nicole, you always will be my role model and I love you for being the woman you are. I am so thankful that I have you to look up to and to imitate occasionally. I love you so much! Lauren, you are precious and I love you and little Autumn so much. I'm proud of you. It's been great to be a part of your life for so long now, its been amazing to watch you grow into this amazing Godly woman. You amaze me!!

Something else God taught me this weekend is going to him in the proper manner. My pastor back home spoke Sunday morning about the Lord's Supper and coming to the table with a clean heart. He talked about the way Simon Peter, James, John and Judas came to the table and how we need to avoid such things. Nice little conviction for me... So Simon Peter came with a spirit of arrogance thinking he was so much better than some of those other guys, as if he were Godlier or something. I'll admit there has been a time or two that I have thought my own sin wasn't so bad because well so and so wasn't exactly being Godly either. Wow...what was I thinking? Seriously. I need to come to the Lord and ask for forgiveness and not try to weight my sin as less just because I want to make myself feel better about it. It's natural though, is it not? So then there is James & John who came with spiritual ignorance. I'm pretty sure I probably come with spiritual ignorance every time. Wow really, I can't recall the last time I picked up my bible was. Here I sit writing being blatently honest partially not wanting to because I feel as if many of you will judge me as you read this, but I frankly don't care. I would rather be honest than to try to make myself look better just so that people think I'm doing fine. (reason I've recently switched churches). So here I sit Sunday morning ready to go before the Lord with arrogance and spiritual ignorance, lets see if I can go ahead and be like Judas too. So then there is Judas at the table with vengeance. Here he is ready to turn Christ in for what? To make himself look better maybe? I don't know if any of us will really know. But the fact is that Judas stabbed Christ in the back and went away from him. I don't feel as though I really do this to Christ, but who knows. So as I sit there in my seat I realize that I better get my heart right before I take of Christ. My heart is broken now, Christ has caught my attention. I know that I will still struggle but I want to change, I wanna get back on track. I want God to move me.

Then there is my own spiritual awakening. Roommates. So we all know how the roommate thing goes, sometimes its really hard to have them. There are days you come home and you look at the dishes and you just wanna puke because you wonder why the crap no on else seems to ever do the dishes. Maybe even why the trash is never taken out, the kitty litter never emptied, the carpet never vacuumed, peoples crap always left out...but then if you think about it, how many times is it you that didn't take the trash out when it was overflowing? Or you avoided the dishes because you just don't want to do them because you are tired. I thought about it and one time a friend of mine suggested this be a test of marriage. So I think about my house now as if I lived with my husband. And although I am sure I would be irritated that he never did the dishes I would find joy in being able to serve him by cleaning up his dishes. It's funny that when its the one you will be married to you want to serve them the best that you can. So why is it that we have such a hard time serving our roommates in the same manner? Perhaps its the selfish desires of our evil hearts. I wish so badly I could be more like Christ in the fact that he is 100% self-less. He never thinks oh I shall wash the dishes today because hopefully tomorrow they will. Oh wait, he just does it because he loves the other person so much. So here's to me trying harder to be selfless when my selfish desires want to have myself taken care of just as much as I want to serve others. May I be better at serving those around me. And with that today I want to commit to being a better roommate, daughter, sister, friend, employee, and a Godlier woman in general. May I challenge you all to do the dishes for your roommates not because they won't get done unless you do them but because you want to serve them by doing that. I honestly find so much joy in cleaning the house when I know its driving Lexy nuts because I know she is busy with work. I don't care so much about my own room, but something about doing the dishes and taking out the trash and vacuuming is fun for me because I know that Lexy is stressed out enough. I love you Alexis!!!

Now with all that being serious I must share a funny story with you all. Last night I drove out to Euless to see Jon D. and a funny thing happened to me. I got there and he told me where to park and flagged me upstairs to the 3rd floor. I wasn't listening completely as I was trying to park, take my IPOD out, etc. So I hear something about the one on the left. So I get up to the 3rd floor and I walk into the first door on the left. That's right, I just walk in...I always have with Jon plus he just saw me so I know its cool. So I walk in and the first door I see is shut so I turn to my left and I see a bed that looks like Jons old comforter. So I walk in the room and there is some strange guy sitting at his desk and I think to myself, "thats not Jon or Don, who is it?" I continue my journey to find Jon by heading to the kitchen and some woman is standing there cooking..."oh crap, im in some strangers apartment". I turn around and walk out the front door glancing back into the room seeing that the guy has now turned and is faced towards me. I let the door shut thinking it will be quiet since it obviously was when I walked in, but no it slams. So i dart down the hall to the next left. Holy crap, are you kidding me? I was in someones apartment and they didn't even notice. I so could have been shot or something, but nope they didn't even realize I was in their place.

Well sorry this post was so long, but I had a lot on my mind. I love you all, and if you made it this far I'm proud. You should leave a comment so that I know you actually read it all...no really leave a comment, they make me smile. It can be your special way of "serving" me...dang it, there I am with my selfish desires!

kind of frustrated. i need to learn that when i come home its highly unlikely that i will hang out with people my age. i might as well get over the fact that nearly everytime i come home i have all these great plans to see all my friends and it never happens. so why the crap do i do it everytime i come home? from now my home is family time. maybe i'll go out occasionally, but i sure as hell am not making plans again.

"How can you deny God while holding a new born child, it's a miracle" -Grandpa Scott
 

This is me with Precious Autumn Grace Reeves. Isn't she beautiful? She was born 8/8/05 at 4:41pm. She is 6lbs., 13oz, 20in. long. I love her!!! 

This is me & Lexy drinking the picture she gave me. AMAZING! Happy graduation to me! 

So this is me with Lauren, too bad I could pass as pregnant too. Wow, maybe it's time I loose some weight... 

So yesterday at work one of the guys was a little rude to me and I'm not sure if I am hurt by what he said or not. I was sitting there at my desk and he walked up to me to let me know I looked like crap. He didn't say it nearly as nice. So after telling me how bad I looked he decided to insist that I must have a really low self-esteem. Then he continued talking about how I must hate life and my how parts of my life prove that I have a low self-esteem. Then he tells me that I don't deserve to get married and that no man would marry me anyway. Then he tells me that God wouldn't let me have kids because that would be ruining society. This coming from a man who doesn't love the Lord, right...cuz I really think he knows what the Lord wants. Oh irritation was mine. How badly I wanted to just punch him in the face. Praise God I am done with that crappy job come Thursday. Seriously the men at that place can be so rude. I will never like another car dealor for the rest of my life...no seriously. I don't trust them at all and they treat people like crap. What a learning experience that has been.

Now onto something else that's bugging me. I've began to understand exactly why a lot of peopel never go to church. Why go somewhere that you feel you are judged the second you walk through the door? Or feel as if no one cares for you to be there? Or even where some people hate you, perhaps even someone who is helping lead worship? A place where you feel alone amongst 100's of people. A place where you sit alone in the back and only the pastor acknowledges you, which might I say I do love. Even your so called friends don't talk to you. Somedays it's hard for me to want to be a Christian at all. Why is it so hard to find a good church home where you feel you belong? I wish so badly that I could go to Green Acres or Denton Bible, but that's not offered in Lubbock, TX. So I guess if you want you can pray for me to find a place where I feel that I belong. Anyway, thats enough detail. And I am tired so I'm off to bed.

This is the rest of our pets, and this is Domino... 

And this is Thomas... 

And this is Jake at the park, he is laying down you just can't tell in the picture.