The Kitts

So I'm gonna go ahead and say it...the church is pretty darn pathetic. (myself included) Isn't it sad that we can often find things outside of the church to comfort us in our mourning or to befriend us when all we want is to be loved. Why can't we find those things with in the comfort of our own church? Are we missing some piece? I've heard it a lot from many people, and I feel it myself. My dearest friend, Mik told me to listen to Stained Glass Masquerade by Casting Crowns so here I am listening to it on repeat. And wow how pathetic we are as a church. Here's the lyrics:

Is there anyone that fails?
Is there anyone that fails?
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small?
'Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong
So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitations open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain on our stained glass masquerade
Is there anyone who's been there?
Are there any hands to raise?
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage
The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart
But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind ht person
That you imagine me to be
Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

It's sad to me that this morning when I was hurting I felt the need to put on my 'Happy Face' and pick myself up because if I didn't no one would have the desire to talk to me. This morning tons of people asked me this question, "How was your thanksgiving?" Which to most everyone responds, "Great, how was yours?" But my answer wasn't what most wanted to hear. My response to such a question is..."it wasnt so great, I lost my Grandma on Monday." They pause and stare at me as if I said something wrong. For crying in the mud people, I lost my Grandma give me a break. I'm sad, its a normal response to death. I felt as if I needed to be more positive and respond, 'oh my thanksgiving was great.' While yes I do realize its good to pull the positive out from the week. Praise God my Grandma is with Him in Heaven now, but that doesn't mean it won't hurt. And yes I'm thankful that I got to spend time with my family for a week. But still with all the praises from this week, my overall view of the week is that it wasn't that great. Maybe I should be more optimistic about the situation, but I'm hurting so let me hurt. Just be my friend and stop running scared. We as a church have forgotten what its like to love one another.

Another note on the song. Above the song is this little response about the song:

I don't think it bothers the world that we sin. I think it bothers the world that we act like we don't. There are times that instead of being myself and exposing my own weakness and hurt, I portray a character of the person that I know I should be. But when I expose myself as weak and frail at times, it frees the Body of Christ to restore me as it should and invites other to unmask as well.

So true, so true. Not only with sin, but me today being upset and having to mask that so that people think I am one way. Let's be real with one another. I know I'm not scared. I desire it more than anything that when someone says "how are you?" I can respond, "I'm not doing so great." And then that person is able to pray for me and help build me up. What a blessing we could be to one another if we were willing (1) to be honest and (2) to use such a response to bless that person. I'm not afraid to say I'm hurting, but no one knows how to respond to that. Maybe its time we learn how to respond.