while it's still fresh and because i am kind of awake now...

so i went to bed early as ya'll read in my previous post because all my friends decided sleep was important, liars! let me just say that i went to bed not matching for the first time in forever because well i am just that fickle. so at 2:45 am, i hear screamin' and gigglin' and i turn to see some stuff sprayin' in my face so i pull the covers over my head to ignore the mess. the covers quickly ripped off of me and i am sprayed down with silly string that stinks like a mug. i am quikcly pulled out of my bed and am allowed to take care of some stuff before they stick me in a car. we drive to ihop and low and behold there is big nate sitting at a table so we join the boy. then i look up and see brad, don & jody and think man i am glad they get to see me in all my glory, they just looked in my general direction with looks of "whats going on?" austin, ryan, kelsey & his friend all arive and i am filled with joy as i am surrounded by my most dearest friends...not all of them of course. but it was cool how God let those boys just happen to be there as well as my friend, dane...wahoo! anyway, we enjoyed some pancakes and i got showered with a couple of gifts. and chavon made me te take a shot of half n half which i didn't mind at all because as a little girl i use to drink it like i would regular milk or what not so i actually liked it. so my friends are incrediable and i am 21! okay now i must climb back in bed...new sheets and all! but i leave you with a couple of things first:

lessons learned at 3am:
-silly string stinks really bad, have a practice shot somewhere where if it sprays nasty it won't ruin anything
-nate does not make as good of strawberry half n half drink as joe
-my friends really do love me
-you can make a napkin into a rose
-you don't always have to show skin to get mardi gras beads
-when your best friend ignores your calls all day it's because she is hiding something from you

Carrie, Emily, Chavon & Sarah: you girls are the most incrediable women of God and I am more than delighted to have ya'll in my life. thanks for everything you did for me.
Nate, Austin, & Kelsey: i am so glad i have gotten to know ya'll in the last few weeks because you are some great guys and having you in my life is so much fun (joe: you were missed greatly)
Tom Skerritt: thanks for being an actor that we could enjoy so much, if it wasn't for your wonderful movies the bond i have with this crew would not be the same. ("that tom skerritt's a riot"-griggs)

on another note...that makes two meetings for the LNPS (Late Nite Pancake Society)

my friends favorite jana sayings:
-"that was awkward" -carrie
-"good gravy" -sarah
-"shut your face" -nate
-"awkward" -emily
-and chavon loves my wisconsin accent

Jeffe, Jared & Zach(which one doesnt fit?) thanks for the birthday wishes!!!! (the correct answer is Z...for Zach)

it just became my birthday...

anywho! tonight i went to dinner with carrie & emily, which was way fun! i love those girls like crazy. this waitor was cleaning the table next to us and lifted up and hit his head on the light and i laughed for a good five minutes, and i mean a good hearty laugh. i couldn't seem to stop myself, it was cuz i was crunk. after dinner we were driving over to emilys house and emiyl slammed on the breaks for no apparent reason so i took this 'i am scared' picture and it's now the picture that comes up on emilys phone, its cool! we went to coldstone and got some ice cream, at this point i was pretty stinkin' stuff so i didnt really eat a lot. after that it was off to AROC to get Chavon, ended up that the thing had just ended so we chatted to some people for a little while and then headed out. we didn't do anything after that so i didn't get to hang with chavon as i wish i could have, but thats okay because well she is hangin' with joe and he's incrediable so i approve.

well its my birthday, and i dont have anything planned as far as celebrating it. i don't even know if i will celebrate to tell you the truth. in the morning i am celebrating with breakfast at my aunt & uncles, then i have to go to kinkos and hang with katie for a bit. eventually i will make it to island party, but at some point i think i might have to go chill at the library and print out articles for a paper that i have due on monday...stupid school! i am getting real sick of school right now, but only 3 more weeks left...i think i can survive. well signin' off...

So I had my first final this morning, I think I did pretty good. But I lost a lot of sleep last night and well I have a final tomorrow too so I am about to loose even more sleep. Because of all the stress I ended up getting really sick to my stomach tonight and had to leave Sugar Brown's to come home, dang it tummy! I know something is wrong with me because well I just realized all I ate today was a breakfast burrito, half a slice of pizza and some ice cream at work. This is coming from a girl who eats 4-5meals a day. What's wrong with me?! And believe it or not, I am not the least bit hungry. I bet I will wake up and be absolutely starving. So my mom sent a cookie bouqet to me and I got it today while I was working, everyone was so jealous and it made me soooo happy. I have the best mom in the entire world!!!! All I wanna do is crawl in my mommy's lap right now and let her love on me, b/c I hate being sick to my tummy and all I want to feel is loved and well my books aren't showing me that at all. I am not looking forward to my birthday which is kind of sad for me b/c it's normally a really big deal to me. Anyway, the tummy hurts and the books need me so I gotta go...but just thought I'd enter a soap box as some like to call it!

So I drove past the petting zoo again and yet again I still get as excited as the first time I saw it, but still a no go on going. I mean seriously it's the simple things in life that give me the most excitement. Tonight I got to study with Chavon & Dave, I love gettin' that hang time in even if it was only to study. I think my mom is up to something, and I will find out today if she is. She kept asking me my schedule and junk, she's crazy! I had like three thousand things I was gonna say and now that I am writing I can't think of one...crazy me! I have two finals this week and the stress is only getting bigger and bigger and on that know I better go study or I am gonna end up hating myself when I get my grade back...until then, good day to you!

I went with Kelsey & Emily to the Matt Wertz & Dave Barnes concert tonight and it was good. The guy that opened caused me to have fatigue, but it's no biggy. Dave cracked me up as he always does! Right as Dave was starting his song 'Nothing Fancy' Kelsey made me laugh and yes my laugh stood out above the crowd, I got so embarassed and dug my head into Will's shoulder. Me & Emily had to leave early to get some food in our tummy's, although I had already eaten 4 meals today I was still hungry. And sadly enough I could eat again right now. So we went to Chili's and ate dinner, I ate more chips tonight then I think I've eaten in my entire life. That's a big crazy! After dinner, I had one of my fears come true on me...that's right the tanning bed I was in closed completely to where there was no air coming in, so I had to prop it with my foot. Now I just admitted to the world that I tan, but I gotta get a tan for this wedding I am gonna be in because lavender on white skin won't look good. Second fear that is much like that is getting stuck in the freezer at work, although it doesn't lock I still fear it. Okay, so ya'll know a lot of my fears now...don't use those against me!

Today I was driving to work and I was passing K-mart when I saw what looked to be a petting zoo. I saw two camels and a zebra and I won't lie...I GOT ECSTATIC! I thought to myself man I wish I could go there instead of work, and I immediately wanted to call Sarah who was directly behind me to tell her how excited I was but I realized my cell phone was still laying on my bed. And that's right the petting zoo was still there when I was driving home from work and I wanted to stop so bad, but I didn't want to go alone. Ya, let's go ahead and bring up this fear of being alone issue. I can't seem to get over it and sometimes it is a damper on my social life. So say I know some friends of mine are at Sugar Brown's perhaps, but I have no reason to be going there except to be seeing them then if no one is going with me I won't go. This happens in many situations too. It happens even if I just wanna go somewhere and I know that a crowd might be there, I don't wanna show up alone. I am trying to overcome this fear and so occasionally I force myself to go alone all the while hating every minute of it. So thus far I've done three things to overcome the fear...1) Went to Nate's basketball game. But I stayed on the phone the entire time until Chavon & Joe got there then I sat down with them. And if I didn't go I would have missed out on an oppurtunity to kick it at IHOP with those guys. 2) Went to Kelsey's concert, sat int he back by myself and survived. And if I wouldn't have gone then I would have missed out on an amazing weekend. 3) I went to Kelsey's house for a party. And well I had fun! Obviously it pays off to go these places alone, but for some reason I still fear that entire being alone thing. Needless to say, through all of this I finally figured out my love language which I thought I never would. I was discussing it with Lauren and she was like "all those are yours", but I think that my biggest one is quality time while all the rest sure do come in rather close behind. Yep, thats its for today's random post.

Things I miss or things I love:
-laying in the bed of my truck in high school with blankets and pillows gallore talking to my best friend while we looked up at the stars and forgot about life for a minute or two
-laying on a blanket this summer at the Lubbock "lakes" while enjoying a good talk with my best friend
-listening to someone play the guitar as I enjoy nature
-late night, deep conversations with someone at a coffee shop
-driving around singing at the top of my lungs with someone who sucks just as bad as me
-going to Ransom Canyon to look at the lights
-enjoying late night walks at the park
-playing at the park with a good friend, then trading off on piggy back rides
-going to the lake and layign in matt's truck just talking
-playing games with my Grandma, telling her I love her all the time

P.S. I canceled my birthday this year. As many of you know, my birthday is rather important to me. But this year too many other things are going on so I decided to cancel my birthday for the year...

Easter in my shoes! So let's just let you know how sad it was for me to have to spend Easter with out my mommy. First and foremost I went to 930 and I kept crying occasionally because I would think about how I was alone at church while most were with their families and I just wanted to be with mine. Then I cried because I wanted "granddads" deviled eggs. On the way home I cried because I was going to be spending Easter lunch by myself on my couch probably watching Mary Poppins. My cousin came home and asked me what I was doing and I told her how I had been crying, and then I pulled the blanket over my head and cried some more as I watch Happy Gilmore to cheer me up. But then after a little persuasion from my cousin I decided to join the other end of her family for lunch. It was kind of awkward at first, ate lunch with all of her cousins none of which I know. It was dead silent through our meal and I said a couple of things to break the ice, they laughed but still no one talked. Finally for dessert the girls opened up a little and we started talking, yay I had broken the ice!!! We talked just a bit then they had to go because they were going to see a movie...so I decided it was time for me to head home too. So that's my Easter. I was hoping it would have been a little better, I wish it would have been spent with Sarah. But Sarah went to Ashley's and I didn't feel like going because I don't know Ashley and I just thought that was awkward. I was also hoping for an Easter egg hunt, but I guess that was a stupid idea because well it didn't happen. I called my mom and talked to her for half an hour, I feel a little better now but not as good as I wish considering it's a holiday.

Memories I miss about Easter:
1. The Easter Basket-filled with exciting gifts and mucho candy!
2. The Family- sititng in the livign room digging through the baskets, then going to church together in our new easter outfits, then eating a yummy meal with my family
3. Being with the mom- I miss sitting with her on the couch and giving her huge hugs in the kitchen, I miss lovin' on my mommy
4. The deviled eggs-my Granddad makes the most incrediable deviled eggs and he colors them according to the holiday, ever since he passed away I have made my mom make them Granddaddy style