My wedding gown is on and has been for some time now. I have given myself to Christ in order for Him to be my Bridegroom. My desires are to submit to Him and allow for Him to pursue me. I love knowing that I rest in His arms and that all my comfort can be found in Him. I desire to share an intimate relationship with Him.
I am a Runaway Bride.
I have my gown on still and it's beautiful, but underneath my gown is a dirty pair of running shoes. I am a runner! Christ pursues me and loves me and anxiously awaits for the ceremony, but I keep running. At times I run rather quickly away from Christ as if I have something to hide. There are times that I gently walk away begging of Him to chase after me. But none the less I am a runaway bride.
My junior year of college my Grandma died and I ran far away from Christ. I lead a Christian life, but had no pursuit of the gospel. I continued down a very destructive path until I found myself crying in my closet begging for mercy and grace. I will never forget coming to that place or absolute emptiness. Christ never stopped pursuing me, but I kept running. I was back in the arms of my one true love, but no worries I would run again soon.
I moved back to Denton and got my feet back on track. I was going to do it right this time. I loved Him so of course I wouldn't leave Him again. It didn't take long for me to start pushing Him away and slowly trying get away from Him. He continued to pursue me and I stayed around for awhile. I loved Him with all my heart, but it was time to run again.
I tricked myself into believing that by playing the part I was still standing there with my groom. My dress was on, but I was running. I continued to date my groom, but would soon run away again. I couldn't dare truly surrender. Luckily, He continued to pursue me and tugged at my heart consistently. I continually try to run and continually pretend that I have surrendered, but I am only fooling myself.
It's been a very long and tiring journey for me the runner. In June I became very tired of running. I became weak and famished. Christ ran along side me the entire time. He picked me up and carried me the rest of the way. I lay there in awe of his grace, love and mercy. I desire to love Him with my everything and to mean it this time.
I surrender...Lord, here are my running shoes!!
I am a Runaway Bride.
I have my gown on still and it's beautiful, but underneath my gown is a dirty pair of running shoes. I am a runner! Christ pursues me and loves me and anxiously awaits for the ceremony, but I keep running. At times I run rather quickly away from Christ as if I have something to hide. There are times that I gently walk away begging of Him to chase after me. But none the less I am a runaway bride.
My junior year of college my Grandma died and I ran far away from Christ. I lead a Christian life, but had no pursuit of the gospel. I continued down a very destructive path until I found myself crying in my closet begging for mercy and grace. I will never forget coming to that place or absolute emptiness. Christ never stopped pursuing me, but I kept running. I was back in the arms of my one true love, but no worries I would run again soon.
I moved back to Denton and got my feet back on track. I was going to do it right this time. I loved Him so of course I wouldn't leave Him again. It didn't take long for me to start pushing Him away and slowly trying get away from Him. He continued to pursue me and I stayed around for awhile. I loved Him with all my heart, but it was time to run again.
I tricked myself into believing that by playing the part I was still standing there with my groom. My dress was on, but I was running. I continued to date my groom, but would soon run away again. I couldn't dare truly surrender. Luckily, He continued to pursue me and tugged at my heart consistently. I continually try to run and continually pretend that I have surrendered, but I am only fooling myself.
It's been a very long and tiring journey for me the runner. In June I became very tired of running. I became weak and famished. Christ ran along side me the entire time. He picked me up and carried me the rest of the way. I lay there in awe of his grace, love and mercy. I desire to love Him with my everything and to mean it this time.
I surrender...Lord, here are my running shoes!!
3 comments:
Hi Jana, I like this analogy. Hope you are doing great!
i got to preach to "big church" during a series in Hosea... it made me think of that imagery. Sometimes I wonder if we break God's heart... and I wonder if our fallen relationships our his way of trying to paint for us how he feels. We've all had people leave us, and we all know how that feels. Then here we are continually leaving God.
I tell you what... tie those laces together and chunk them up to where they hang over a telephone line... kind of like what you see when you drive through the ghetto. Why are there always shoes hanging from telephone lines in the ghetto?!
What a neat analogy. I love your deepness!
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