9 months ago we made the decision to start trying to conceive. We had already not been preventing anything for the 3 months prior to that. I had hoped and thought that it would happen in about 3-6 months, why I don't really know. As you can see, that is not the plan that God had for us which at times is rather difficult for me to understand.
I have watched couple after couple get pregnant in this time period. Some have been much harder to process than others. It is difficult knowing that many who started trying around when we did will be welcoming their bundle of joy in the next month or two. I don’t know why I thought I deserved to get pregnant quickly, but I had it in my head that it wouldn’t take long for us. Now, 9 months later, it’s become a very heartbreaking thing for me. While we have not yet been coined “infertile” since that does not happen until after a year, I can’t help but let my mind wander down that road. I want to live in God's will but sometimes I really wish his plans were my plans. As if I know what's best for myself, we've seen how that works out and it's not good.
I am thankful for this time because I know that that the testing of my faith develops perseverance. I know that we are in this season for a reason and though it is very difficult at times, I am excited to see what God is teaching us. Yes, I am hoping that we will be on the other side of this sooner than later but ultimately I know that God works all things together for his good. So please join us in praying for our future and our children. I will be very raw in my blogging so at times you will probably see deep frustration and sadness, but know in it all I know that we are deeply loved by our father!
