Today Jeff asked me what I would be doing in May...

Well here's the answer, in May I will be finishing up some school but I will still have one class left to take in summer school. I could try to finish it all up this semester but I think I'd end up with a really really crappy GPA. I have a job interview with Kohl's on the 10th and I might drop down to 12 hours and do 6 this summer and work full time this semester if they give me the job. If not then I'll go to class 15 hours and sub MWF. Either way, I don't graduate till August. So I don't know where I'll end up yet...

August I may end up at seminary or maybe in Tyler or maybe with out a job sitting on the side of the road or still here spending another year getting my teachers certification. Hopefully I'll be in Fort Worth at Southwestern, but if not I don't really know where I'll end up. I hate not knowing what or when or where...but I gotta have faith in God. Anyway, on that note I should probably finish my Statement of Call & Commitment for my application.

In eight months I have to start an all new life, and I'm kind of scared about it. All my friends that are graduating will be miles and miles away and my younger friends will still be stuck in this wonderful town...or is it wonderful? I'm not ready to grow up...

I have so much on my mind right now, I feel like my mind is running far too fast and my heart can't keep up. I keep thinking about my past, my future and well of course my present. I think about all the mistakes I've made and how they've shaped me. And I am trying to let the stupid decisions I've made not mess me up now, but learn from them and do something about it. Life can truly be so confusing.

I miss some of my old friends a lot, but I guess there are these weird things called seasons and sometimes friends come and go whether we like it or not. It's weird how you can be best friends with someone, like practically inseperable and then the next minute you don't hardly even talk to each other. It's so weird how life turns out. It's weird that when you stick by your friends even when they have no desire to be your friend, you end up being their best friend and now you can say you've been friends for eight years. One characteristic Jeff & Ryan said they saw in me was that I was faithful, and sometimes I wish that my friends would be faithful to me. I wish that my friends would stick by me when I'm going through hard crap or when I start dating someone or when I get too busy.

Okay, I'll end my tangent here. Gotta try to clear my mind...

Happy New Year, it's 2005! What shall my New Year's Resolution be? When I think of a good one I will let you all know. So New Year's Eve was great, lasted really stinkin' long. We didn't go to bed till freakin' 5:30am and I had lunch plans with my family for 12. Definately woke up to the sound of my phone ringing at 12:10, "hey where are you?" Crap, I had missed my alarm and it's past time to be there, what kind of Granddaughter, niece, cousin am I? I ended up getting up and heading over there to delivery presents. I stayed over there awhile and watching part of Somethings Gotta Give with my Grandma, but then I got tired so I headed out.Ooo, I did get to see Napoleon Dynamite and it was great. It's probably going to become part of my collection soon...today I added Bad Boys & Annie! Wahoo! I counted my collection today, and I now have 88 Dvd's, saweet! Anyway, thats all for now...check out my New Year's Eve Pictures...

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/redraidergal/album?.dir=/8b53&.src=ph&.tok=pha_rTCB6Tw7tSlE

This is to missing my bestest friend ever...who wouldn't miss someone that looked like that? I mean seriously...he's a lot of fun! Oh, he's my own little Napoleon Dynamite!

This is the cake I decorated for our New Year's Party...not bad considering, I didn't have that great of tools to use.  

Please pray for my friend, Krista and her family. They are going through a really tough time right now as they are dealing with the death of her grandparents and her brother is in the hospital still. Here's the link that tells of their story...

http://www.lubbockonline.com/stories/123004/loc_123004041.shtml

Wow, I look so much like my dad that it scares me... 

This is my pooch, Cappy! With a face like that he gets away with everything... 

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Yay for Christmas! I'll start with Christmas Eve...I went over to Chelsey's yesterday after lunch to give her their Christmas present. And she gave me mine, a little figurine that said something real sweet about forever friends...it's downstairs so I can't say word for word what it says. I came home and played a game with the family, Buzz Word (real fun!). Then Christmas Eve service at church. We sang some Christmas stories, read of the birth of Christ then my pastor took a great turn. And we talked about the cross and Christ's purpose in life. We took communion and sang Joy to the World then we peaced out of there. We came home and I'm sure played another game, then we opened our Christmas Eve present...pajamas! Mine are real cute, green & red striped pants with a red shirt that says "I was good all year (mostly)". I stayed up late watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, good thing because I can't sleep on Christmas Eve.

So I woke up this morning at 5:30, but when I went to bed at 2 that seemed real unrealistic. My sister woke me up at 7:30 so I could shower and get ready to enjoy Christmas morning. We opened our stockings first thing: I got lambs, socks, 13 Going on 30, Cheaper by the Dozen & 50 First Dates and some other random nick nacks. We ate yummy yummy breakfast, breakfast casserole...I think we eat this every year. We then made our way back to the living room to open presents. I got a digital camera, woohoo! I got a couple games, dvds, wireless mouse, princess blanket and perfume...besides that just little nick nacks. We ate a yummy lunch with a cajun turkey! Then we played games all day, the new turbo edition of Cranium is pretty fun! Ya, we played games all freakin day long and it was amazing. Okay that's it for me!

pray for my future. pray that i have faith in God. pray that i will make the right decisions.

Engagement Ring
You sure are loved, or are loving! Filled with
romantic giddiness, you radiate love,
affection, and caring. You know how to make
other people's day. Your only problem is that
you risk a chance of being rejected, which is
probably a large fear of yours.

What Type of Christmas Present are You?
brought to you by

If you can't see this little link, its the blurry looking business under the description. Great, I'm an engagement ring as if Christmas doesn't rub "ur single" all over my face enough...

You are the Christmas Star.

What Christmas Ornament are you?
brought to you by

You are 'Jingle Bells'! Full of enthusiasm and
good cheer, you are excited by the first
appearances of Christmas decorations in shops
and have been heard singing along to the piped
music. Your attitude to Christmas is one of
childlike delight - with a slightly mercenary
streak. You definitely believe in Santa (you
get more presents that way) and will put up
your Christmas tree as early as possible. You
really like carolling, and presents, and mince
pies, and pudding, and will insist on getting
everyone up at dawn to open presents
immediately. So long as the food and presents
are good, you will have a great Christmas.

What Christmas Carol are you?
brought to you by

I drove into Denton yesterday and as soon as I got here I got ready for Michaela's wedding. I went over to Chelsey's to help her pick out what to wear and I played with her adorable son. I put my knee high boot on Caleb and watched him try to walk around...I nearly wet myself. Because it was such a high heel he was having a really hard time walking, but it was funny! The wedding was pretty, I think it was the first wedding I haven't cried at in awhile. I have a feeling that in my own wedding I'll have to play a recorded version of me saying my vowels or they won't be heard. In my sister's wedding I cried so much that people probably thought I was having a seizure...no lie. I got to see some people I haven't seen in some time. I got to see my closest friends from high school, Sarah & Shelley. And I got to see my old youth minister and his wife, Craig & Susan. And I got to see a girl I use to work with at Old Navy for awhile, Athica. And of course I got to see my dear friends, Renee & Rachel. It was good to get to catch up with Sarah & Shelley, we spent the entire night with them. After the wedding we went to pick Caleb up and I got to see Lori, his grandma...I love her! I wish I was part of the Ellis family, they are great! But luckily my best friend is so I can just go hang out with them with her. Weird that we've been friends for eight years. I love Chelsey Marie!! Tonight shall be fun, I'm gonna go eat dinner with Liz. So far home isn't too bad...

it's weird being around my dog now that i'm use to cappy. lil' bit is just that...a lil' bit. she weighs maybe all of 10lbs. while cappy weighs all of 72. she looks like a chihuahua to me now, i feel like if i touch her i'll break her. its definately much nicer sleeping with her in my bed unlike that massive pooch back in lubbock. marissa said that last night cappy slept with his arms around her the entire time, he best not get use to it because he won't be doing it when i get back.

So this is Cappy & Alissa. Let me just tell you a little story about this sweet innocent looking pooch. Yesterday I discovered his ability to tackle me...I was walking away from our fight session when I realized he wasn't done fighting. He took me down with a quick grab around my ankles. This pooch can put up a good fight. Today I'm in the living room fighting him again and before I know it he's overly excited about my hair clip and he punches me in the face...I get a bloody lip. So here I sit with a bloody lip, and its pretty fat. I lost to a dog... 

"Sin distorts everything, perverts everything, and corrupts everything...Sin lives off that which is good. It is a parasite, feeding greedily on the goodness of what God has made."
-Paul Marshall, Heaven is Not My Home

This is Zac Morris!!! That's right, not the Zac you remember from Saved by the Bell. But this one is so much better! We're at the Christmas Party at work, it was a blast! 

This is me & Messay at Lauren's wedding. Ya, so I just got the pictures developed...it's only five months later. 

The other day I was driving to class and I was running a little late but that's okay because I always am. I was listening to Kidd Kradick and they were trying to grant a Christmas Wish. This guy was told by his doctors to take one last vacation with his family and so Kidd Kradick wanted to raise money from listeners to send the family to Disney World. Seriously not even five minutes later someone was knocking at the door with $400. I thought to myself what an incredible thing. Then right before I got out of my car this lady called to donated $1,000 and I burst into tears. The lady goes to say that she knew the pain the family was going through as she had lost her father and her husband. I just sat there in my car and thought, in a lost world people are still that willing to help...it's amazing. So then after collecting myself enough to walk to class I think about Christians. And while yes there are many of us who do contribute to things as great as this but there are also many of us that are really selfish. I thought about how people are looking for money to be spent on Missions all the time where thousands of people are unsaved and with out our love what will happen when they die? I personally do not feel a call to world missions but is it not my roommate who needs to raise money to go to Moscow? Is it not the ministry that I am involved in that needs money to build a building for Tech students to hang out to as an alternative to clubs & bars? And yes I realize we are all college students and are money isn't growing on trees and often isn't even existent. Which makes it hard for us to want to give, but as Strap always said, "if your not willing to give now in your poverty, why would you give in your riches?" So how many people are in your life right now that are going to another country and need a lot of support? Can you not drop them a little cash? What about the Lottie Moon offering at church? Anyway, if this world is so willing to send a family on vacation because this man is dying. Why shouldn't we give a friend some money to send them to share the good news with a lost world who is dying too? I'm not saying don't give your money to the man to go on a vacation but use your money wisely. Send someone to China or Russia or wherever it is. Help a friend out when they wanna go to dinner with everyone but can't afford it. Just from experience I know that when your willing to give God is so gracious as to provide for you. I can think of some clear examples in my own life, and God is real good to me financially even though he sometimes should just take all my money away from me.

So this week has been wonderful, absolutely wonderful.

Monday night Renee started moving in and we all went to dinner at On The Border and got to know each other and umm, Renee is amazing!

Tuesday night was the Coldstone work party at Ruby Tequilla's and it was a blast! I seriously had so much stinkin' fun. I got to hang out with Zac and sing with Rebecca. And Kali took me, and she's great! Then me and Roxy hung out afterwards with Megan at Moose Magoo's. So for a funny story about Ruby Tequillas...Zac & I decided to cut up little pieces of jalenpeno and we were both gonna eat it. Zac was smart and threw his over his shoulder while I threw mine in my mouth. At first I thought it wasn't too bad then suddenly it hit and it was really really bad. I started crying uncontrollably. It felt like someone had lit my eyes and mouth on fire. I drank half of Stevens coke trying to make the pain go away, then I ate cheese and a tortialla hoping that would calm it down but no luck. So finally I took off running for the bathroom and I'm sure everyone in the restraunt thought "some drunk girls abotu to throw up" but really, I was running because I knew my mascara was all over my face. And when I finally looked in the mirror sure enough my mascara was up too my forehead, and down to my chin. I rinsed my face with water and applied a wet rag to my lips. I was in so much pain! I got back to the table and the fajitas had arrived and the smoke from them made my eyes burn ten times more. Finally I just started eating and the food eased the pain...I will never eat a jalepeno again...EVER!

Wednesday night I came home from class and hung out with Renee. Did I say Renee was amazing yet?

Thursday night I studied at Daybreak with Renee...she's amazing!

Last night me and Renee planned a date night. We went and ate dinner with James at Moose Magoo's then we went to see Oceans 12. Okay, so I so thought it was better than the first. I thought it was amazing just like Renee. About Moose Magoo's, I haven't laughed as hard as I laughed while we there. I seriously am shocked that I didn't wet myself. Some lady totally fell out of her chair at the bar which was funny. Then directly after that a waitress dropped her food. And sometime during our wonderful time there I spit my drink up everywhere and my burger ended up kind of soggy. So I saw like twenty people I know at the movie theatre and that was reallly really fun for me. So I had a great night!

Today was great too. I went to lunch at Ruby Tequiillas with Zac, Bubba & Rebecca and we had a good time. We got gift certificates from the Christmas party for writing and singing a song. I really enjoy hanging out with them, they are lots of fun. I will kind of miss working at Coldstone...ya thats right, I quit. I spent the day around the hosue cleaning and making cookies. And tonight we had our Southcrest Christmast party. It was a blast. We had a white elephant gift exchange and I ended up with this 3 in 1 pool table set that is amazing! And after the party was over a couple people stayed and we played Twister, I laughed so hard. Andy, Nathan, & Caleb played a round, then Chris & Will and lastly the girls, me, Renee, Alissa & Marissa. Marissal Chris & Nathan were the winners and they did a pretty good job. Well I'm pooped from Twister so I'm gonna go to bed. But tonight and this past week were absolutely incredible and my new roommate is amazing!