They call me "Whiskers" because I'm curious like a cat...

Okay, so shouldn't this say...if you consume 3 or more alcoholic bevarages a day then contact your local AA. I wouldn't think it would be in any way healthy for any human to consume 3 or more alocoholic beverages daily with out saying they have a problem. But thats just me...
 

So from the same place I found the boyfriend pillow, I bring you the butt face towel. I'm pretty sure me & my sister use to call each other butt face. So here's the question I ask myself...exactly how would you use this towel...hang the white over your face and its actually long enough for the butt part to fall over your butt then you get to show off full frontal:) Because I am highly confused how a towel would even begin to work with butt in back and face in front. Anybody? I keep trying to wrap myself up it in visually, and I personally would have one word missing no matter how I try it. Meanwhile, the guy behind the towel is mighty hot...can I order me one of those?! 

Three Wishes...

Holy moly, this is an incredible show. Everytime I watch it my eyes fill with tears and soon those tears turn to deep sobbing. It's incredible to watch Amy Grant let wishes come true for a few select people. While yes it seems unfair to the other thousands that aren't being helped, but its neat to see a difference being made in peoples lives. Tonight I watched both last weeks show and this weeks and there were two wishes that I just absolutely loved.

First, this little 8-year-old girl who had suffered a brain tumor. Her wish was this: "my wish is to help other kids get better." This little girl had a lot of faith in God, and it impressed me. After talking of her tumor she said, "a lot of people prayed for me and I think that really helped me." Then at the end of the show she asked everyone to take a moment to pray for all of the sick people. This little girl had such a heart for other people, sad that she is 8 and has that big of a heart for people and most of us can't say the same for ourselves. She went with Amy Grant to the hospital and delivered toys to all these little kids, then they threw a birthday party for a little boy with leukemia. At his party his super hero, Superman showed up. Then at the end of the show they had a free concert, but the community was asked to bring childrens book to help the hospital. And lastly they gave this girl's doctor $10,000 to provide care for all the children. All this occured because one little girl wanted to help other kids feel better. How incredible!

The second story was of an incredible family of 7. The father had gotten brain cancer and half of his body was paralyzed and he was told he didn't have long to live. The family had wished for him to be able to enjoy the last part of his life and that they just wanted to see him smile and laugh again. So they wanted to throw him a big reunion of friends. The dad wanted to make sure that his family was taken care of when he was gone. He made a video for the son where he gave the son a SUV and told him he would need it to take care of the family. Then he left his four daughters necklaces to wear at their weddings for its every fathers dream to see their daughters walk downt he aisle. So Amy Grant and her crew put together a family reunion. They gave the husband a nice garden in the backyard to enjoy with his family for now. Then at the end they blew the top off with full rides to college for the mother and all 5 children plus paying off the mortgage on their home. Hearing this lady talk about her husband amazed me, the way she loved him and how living with out him seemed impossible. She was most worried about being able to provide for her family when he was gone and Amy Grant provided that for her. Their faith in God made the story even more sweet. To see that he still prays and is thankful for every day. He thanks God every day for letting him live another day. I think we often forget to live each day to its fullest not knowing if it could be our last or thanking God for the day he's given us.

These stories are a sweet reminder of Gods love for his people. And especially a great reminder to those of us who have pretty great lives and these people whose lives are falling apart really and truly have hope. And they haven't at all lost faith. They live every day just the way we should...to its fullest. So make sure you make the best of today. I love you all!

"I believe that nothing that happens to me is meaningless, and that it is good for us all that it should be so, even if it runs counter to our own wishes. As I see it, I'm here for some purpose, and I only hope I may fulfill it. In the light of the great purpose all our privations and disappointments are trivial." -Dietrich Bonhoeffer

"We are made for God, and nothing less will really satisfy us." -Brennan Manning

"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." -Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

"Graces tell us that we are accepted just as we are. We may not be the kind of people we want to be, we may be a long way from our goals, we may have more failures than achievements, we may not be wealthy or powerful or spiritual, we may not even be happy, but we are nonetheless accepted by God, held in His hands." -McCullough

"When we allow God the privilege of shaping our lives, we discover new depths of purpose and meaning. What a joyful thought to realize you are a chosen vessel for God-perfectly suited for His use." -Joni Eareckson Tada

Thats all. I have nothing to say really, these quotes really sum it all up for me.

So this is for all those people who are way too lonely. I saw this and I couldn't stop laughing...a boyfriend pillow. Can you imagine walking into your friends place and seeing hte boyfriend pillow laying in their bed? Haha. Okay, I'm easily amused!! 

So tonight I had the sudden urge to dye my hair on my own. Perhaps this could not be the best of situations, but I did it anyway. Mom said there was a box downstairs but it might not be the right color. So I grab the box and its pretty much perfect. So I dye my hair this brown color, really pretty I might add. Then I get the blonde highlighting kit out and I start adding my blonde, not as easy as one would think probably a lot having to do with the fact that my hair is frizzing and the blonde isnt staying where it should, etc. So me & mom get this brilliant idea to just go ahead and brush it in instead of using this little "magical" wand they give us. So we do. I take my shower and go to my room to let it dry, and hour later I go to the restroom and look in the mirror to see that my hair is red and blonde. When I got carried away with brushing my hair I think the blonde turned the brown red and the blond highlights actually turned blonde. So my hair is kind of a Strawberry Blonde...so tomorrow I will wake up and decide if I like it or if I'm scared. If I'm scared I'm dying my hair dark brown and then in about a month I'll have the blond added in...oh what a dumby I am! And by the way, why can you spell blonde two ways? Blond or Blonde? Sames goes with gray or grey...couldn't we just make up our minds? Anyway, I need to sleep but I'm not tired. But I wake up in 6 hrs to go sub for 4th graders. Short day which means I'm taking a nap tomorrow afternoon while my mom and sister shop in Canton with out me...sad day, very very sad day. I don't get to enjoy the entire Canton baby shopping experience which I'm kind of sad about especially sicne I was the one that was sooooo excited about going and reminded the other two nuts about it. But I have to work tomorrow and Nicole wants to shop in Dallas Saturday, so no Canton for me...but perhaps its for the better. I get to do little baby girl stuff this weekend and I'm stoked. I bought the CUTEST little outfit this week. I love my little Ellie, I can't wait for her to get here.

Okay, I am trying to pick my new hair style/color. I could only find two pictures of me with short hair and they arent very good. But then I have pictures of my hair ranging from blond to red to dark brown...what do u like best?! I need your votes!! 

An insert from the book 'Blue Like Jazz' by Donald Miller:

"I think that the devil has tricked us into thinking so much of biblical theology is story fit for kids. How did we come to think the story of Noah's ark is appropriate for children? Can you imagine a children's book abotu Noah's ark complete with paintings of people gasping in gallons of water, mothers grasping their children while their bodies go flying down white-rapid rivers, the children's tiny head being bashed against rocks or hung up in fallen trees? I don't think a children's book like that would sell many copies."

Wow! As I read this little insert pictures of Hurricane Katrina flew through my mind. I saw pictures of women dead in the water clinging to their babies. I saw a picture of a pregnant lady laying dead on the side of the road. I saw all those images that are imbedded in my head now...people screaming for help, and all the while this ark floating by not helping anyone. Do not at all take this as me relating the Hurrianes to God's doing with the flood. But now as I think about Noah's Ark and the story of such events, its more than just a man building a boat getting his family and 2 of every kind on a boat to be safe. I see what went on outside of the boat. Okay, anyway...I am going to continue reading some more for tonight. And I suggest Blue Like Jazz as a good to pick up and read.

A paper about Jesus Christ that I wrote when I was 13-years-old. It makes me laugh a little, but I was a wise kid too...mind you I am not fixing any of the mistakes because that makes it even more funny.

Jesus Christ is the world's greatest leader and he has done the most incredible things. Not one man on the faec of the earth could be better than him. Billy Graham is a great leader, but not as good as Jesus.
How many people were born in a manger and had wiseman and shepards come to worship you? Not one person that I could think of was born as the son of God. At the age of 12 he was already entered into so many hearts. He was with many people walking home from the Feast of the Passover by each of their sides. He is so wonderful that he is with everyone all the time. Can you walk beside each of your friends, can you be with each friend at the same time but at different places? I don't think so, not even a chance. Jesus wasn't baptized until the age of 31. His cousin, John the Baptist, baptized him in the Jordan River. Being baptized is a way to show that you want to go to Heaven and live your life eternally because God gave his only son so that we could be loved in Heaven instead of burn in Hell. "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son that whoever so believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life," John 3:16. God loves each and every one of us so much that he gave his son to be beat and hung.
After his baptism he went aroudn the world to share the good news. He told people to treat others as they wanted to be treated, put God's will first, trust God to care for you day and night, wherever you are, and to live a perfect life, and to live a perfect life because God is perfect. If someone says that you are ugly, annoying, pig headed, rude, or says that harsh words "I hate you," and you don't like it, well think about that when you say something rude like dork it hurts their feelings just as it would hurt yours if they said it to you. God is before anyone so put him first, friends, siblings, pupils, adults, parents, relatives, teachers, coaches and peers before yourself. Then after you have put God first, and others second you can put yourself last. God loves you so much that he knows how many hairs that are on your head, who you will marry, and each and every secret that you don't want anyone to know he knows. Why would God make you if he didn't love you. You will always be beauiful in God's eyes no matter what Suzy or Bobby thinks! He wants you to live a wonderful life because all things are possible with Christ in your life. He had his twelve apostles which were his helpers or assistants to go and do as he did by teaching, preaching, and healing the sick. The twelve left and did as Jesus wanted them to. One day long ago a mob of people came to Jesus to be fed because they had no food so Jesus preached to them all day and then he asked the twelve to go find food. All they could find was 5 rolls and 2 fish. He fed over 500 people with just 5 rolls and 2 fish. Jesus had the most accomplishments anybody could ever have.
You might be familiar with the phrase the Lords Supper. But if you don't know what it is, it is when Christian's take his body and eat it and then taking his blood and drink it. He was with the disciples and he took the bread and broke it into little pieces and he said to them take this peice and eat it as if it was my body. Then he passed the wine and told them to drink as if it was his blood, "do this in remembrance of me," he said. Later on they wanted Jesus to be killed so they had to get Pilate's approval, Pilate wouldn't at first but then he gave in and sentenced Hesus. They put Jesus in a purple robe and placed a crown of thorns on his head, they also gave him a speer. This way he looked like a King. Then they made fun of him, and then stoned him to where he was so sore. Then they made him carry his cross to the place where he would die. When the cross was put down at the top of the hill and then they nailed him to the cross. He layed on the cross in tremendous pain for six hours then he died. There is this poster that has someone asking Christ how much he lvoed them and he said this much and spread out his arms and died. He loves us so much that he died for us. That means so much to me and I hope that everybody realizes how important he is.
I hope that I'm not the only person who thinks Jesus is the most unbelieveable man that ever lived. Always remember God loves you and cares about you.

So now I know why I was so horriable in english in college, because I was never taught grammer or how to write a paper. I wasn't corrected at all really...just a few spelling errors. But I had terriable mistakes and definately a few run-on sentences. Maybe my teacher was just being nice. But hey, I loved Jesus.

I officially reside in Denton now. Yesterday morning we packed up my stuff and then headed on our way. Saying goodbye to Lexy was hard just as I figured it would be. I teared up a little but had to control myself. I'm gonna miss her lots. Her & my new friend across the street. Plus my newest friend, Stefanie. The drive was pretty long yesterday, but me & my mom kept ourselves entertained. Last night we unloaded the truck, locked up the trailor and relaxed. Today we unloaded the trailor and put the furniture in my room. Tomorrow I will unload boxes, I'm too warn out today to do anything else. Tomorrow I get to go finish my paperwork at DentonISD and perhaps Tuesday I will start subbing. I'm rather excited about subbing here because I know lots of people here, fun for me. Once I get settled in I will start visiting friends in the area to see how they have been and to hang out. Then I have some friends coming in town next weekend that I wanna see so thats always fun. Next Sunday I shall try out a new church, a singles ministry. I am nervous about doing this alone. But I am anxious about it at the same time. Today I went to my home church to hear my daddy sing a solo. I nearly didn't have anything to wear, I had to go to Target this morning and buy a shirt to wear with some pants. And wore some of my moms shoes. An interesting outfit that I had to throw together rather quickly. All that was unpacked was dress pants & tennis shoes, didnt think that would make for a cute sunday outfit. Anywho. In two weeks I get to go shopping with my mom & sister in Canton for baby stuff, way exciting. I am going to start studying for the GRE this week so I can kind of start to plan my future. I gotta find a good coffee shop, I think I'll try out the one my dear friend Johnny goes to when he's in town. I hope that I start making friends soon, so pray for that if you will. Pray for lots of things actually. I am off to finish the watching the Emmy's and laying in bed...long day!!!

Okay, so I only have 2 days left in Lubbock. Kind of weird. I didn't realize this day would ever come. It's sad that I'm leaving this place, but at the same time so good that it covers the sadness. I really do look forward to living in Denton again. I am anxious to make many new friends while also reconnecting with many old friends. I've been subbing everyday this week and packing at night, or periodically through the day. I am starting to say my goodbyes which is just terriably sad. Last night I had dinner with Steph, I'll miss going to OTB with her and having really good talks. Last night Tory came over and hung out, so that goodbye is over. I'm really really sad about that goodbye too. I was looking forward to become better friends this year. I mean who's to say we can't still be come better friends, we just won't get to hang out. I said goodbyes to a lot of people Sunday morning, but now the next two days are probably going to be full of goodbyes...I'm not ready for them all. Especially saying bye to my best friend & roommate, wow, thats gonna be hard. We already cried at the beginning of the week about it. Lexy, I am going to miss you soooo much. But may the distance not distant us at all. We must visit one another often and talk lots like we do now. Dang, I didn't realize how crappy it was gonna be to have to say "See Ya Later" to you. But we'll make the best of the next two days, for sure. Well tonight I'm eating dinner with Jared and possibly Arielle so I'm excited about that. Then I'll probably hang out with my roommates since Marissa is leaving tomorrow for Austin. I think tomorrow night I'm suppose to go to the movie with Britt, but not sure how that's gonna play itself out. My mom flys in at 8:55 and then Saturday morning we pack up and head out, insanity. If you haven't gotten your goodbye in, then you might wanna stop by Friday because I'll be stuck in the house packing all day. And if you don't care to say bye, then lets this be my bye...peace out!

Sucks is meeting 2 of the coolest guys two weeks ago that live across the street. I really looked forward to getting to know them, although we are going to keep in touch. But still, it was exciting that they lived across the street and stuff. But then on top of that yesterday I met this coolest girl. We clicked immediately and we got to talking during our conference period at work. It was sooo fun! So now we are going to make sure to keep in touch because we really got close, and yes in one day. Go figure I meet 3 really cool people right before I leave. Dumb!

My mom already got the paperwork and stuff for me to get in the Subfinder in Denton, so next week I should get to start subbing. I am hopefully going to go to The Village Sunday, but we'll see it just depends on how time goes by on Saturday with moving. I look forward to seeing my friends in the greater Dallas area, if you are there and I don't have your number make sure to get it to me so we can hang out. Look forward to it! Wahoo for being close to good ole Renee again. And being near my best friend since 7th grade and her amazing 2 year old son! Wow I get to be there for his 3rd birthday, thats sooooo exciting to me. Wow, a tear!

I'm moving home in a week. Yep, a week from today I shall pack up a UHAUL trailor and head to Denton. I'm really excited about leaving Lubbock...that whole Lubbock in my Rearview Mirror really works for me. Four years was plenty of time for me to be in this town. I will miss many things about being here, but for me I know I need to get out of this town. I need to go to a new place and start a new life. I'm excited about being involved in a Single's ministry. I'm excited about being closer to my family, especially now that I am going to be an aunt. But I am sad to leave many of my dear friends. But if we're close friends leaving Lubbock shouldn't change that at all. Well I better get to it, I gotta a lot to do in the next week. A LOT!!!!

My Sister is gonna have a little girl!!!! I get to have a precious little niece named Ellison, we shall call her Ellie...WAHOO for January!

I'm currently vacationing in Tyler which has been rather enjoyable. My sister is starting to show a lot, which is way fun! She finds out Thursday what "it" is, and we're all guessing a girl and even crossing our fingers for it to be a girl. We went to Canton Saturday and it would have been a little more fun had we known what sex the child was because I'm pretty sure we would have bought tons of stuff. My favorite quote and Nicole's too was "I found my prince and I call him daddy", she cried and well to be honest I teared up too...but no one saw mine. I've been really teary eyed this past week, it's almost pathetic. I must have needed to cry, it sure has been some time. Wednesday night I teared up reading about The Haven, yah thats just pathetic. I've done plenty of crying about the Hurricane Disaster, I think nearly everytime I hear something about it or see someone from it I start to get really teary eyed. Thursday night I watched the news and cried through the entire thing. Then on my way to Tyler I kept seeing bus loads of people from it and I'd get teary eyed. Then Sunday morning I would see people at church and I'd get all teary eyed. I must just be a ball of emotions ready to burst. I haven't really let out any sobs yet, but I bet I could. My heart is really feeling this disaster business. I think I will volunteer once I get back to Lubbock. I would love to stay and volunteer here, but I can't just move to Tyler for a couple weeks although I would love to be around my sister for that time. I did make my sister go through her closet though, so she can take lots of clothes to the Red Cross place. I made curtains this weekend, it was challenging but fun. Tomorrow I have a meeting with the Marriage & Family Minister at Green Acres Baptist Church and I am really stoked about it. I am meeting with him to talk to him about schools, job oppurtunities and just any questions I have about my future. I am meeting with a guy from Denton Bible on Thursday about the same stuff, so its fun getting my foot in the door. I get to go to the dentist, orthodontist and possibly even the oral surgeon while I'm on my "vacation" if you will. Perhaps I should just go ahead and hit up all the other doctors I can think of.

Please pray for me as I have recently been really discouraged about my future. I know God has big things in store for me, but for some reason I am starting to feel really unsure about the future path I though I was going to take. I got a job offer today to be a childrens director at a church in Cedar Park, which does sound like an amazing oppurtunity. But if I am suppose to start my Masters program in the fall then I can't take the job. I want to find a job wherever I choose to go to school so that I can go to school and work full tiem at the same time. Sounds a bit insane, but if I don't work full time I won't be able to afford my schooling. Wouldnt it be nice to find a job that would pay for my masters progmram. Please pray for me that i wont be discouraged and that I would find a job.

well i've moved. it was actually kind of an amazing thing. you were probably all very lost after the last post, but now i can explain. my roommate broke up with her boyfriend which was much needed, but he was in a round about way our "landlord". he being the shady person he is, we up and moved. God provided us with a house the 2nd day we looked and we were able to move in on that very day. and mind you this house is amazing. we are paying the same that we were at the old house and its sooo great. the landlord is so nice and its kind of a month to month lease. so this is an amazing deal for all of us, it really is. i love my roommates still, even though we have are little arguments occasionally. but we're best friends so its nice because when we are irritated we can say how we feel and it works out. i wouldn't wanna live with anyone else. turns out the guys across the street are really cool which is good b/c we're really gonna miss John Wade our previous down the street buddy. there are some more college guys two houses down that seem cool too. only sad part is we had to go down to one cat and i think she misses the stinky a lot. she always wants outside now, she needs little stinkums to play with. and i'll admit it, i've fallen in love with cats. one day i want my own, but i'll still have my giant pooch. i'm beginning to see new breeds that are just beautiful, im not closeminded to the "lab" only in me. so i'm going to go see my little autumn tomorrow, shes gonna be soooo big...i'll cry. my sister finds out sept. 8th what the baby is, i can't wait!!!!!!!!!!! i'm gonna be a stinkin' aunt!!!

It's amazing to see answered prayers. Two years from the day the prayers probably started flowing we see an answer and the answer is one we have all been patiently awaiting. The tears in are eyes overwhelm us because its good to see how God has taken over the situation. The joy in our hearts stretches beyond capacity. We had gotten to the point where we couldn't say anything else, and all we could do was pray. But we were almost ready to give up on the prayers too. But we stayed faithful all this time and God has answered our prayers and all is good. I was sooo excited last night that I danced around my house, I haven't done that in forever. Well God is good!!!

i hate that i cant express my mind for if i do then i upset someone or people get mad at me because i'm not always cheery. im sorry but i dont exactly find myself capable of ALWAYS being happy. it is okay for me to have a bad day...I PROMISE!!!!

i get myself in a situation, my friend gives me spiritual advice and in my stubborness i argure all advice with him. every biblical point he makes, i make a selfish psychological argument. then i find myself later doing the same thing with someone else, but in turn i know what that person feels when they are arguing back with me. i get the spiritual stuff, i've heard it all...and i've read a lot. i just choose to ignore it in my own selfish desires. but i know it. so where is it that i let my spiritual mind take over and push aside all of my selfish psychological desires. this may not make sense to anyone but the two people i talked to today, but thats fine...i just wanted to get it off my chest. i feel better. thanks.

It sucks when a friend is telling you of a decision they have made and you know the decision isn't good for them, but there really isn't anything you can do. You are close enough to them to call them out on it and let them know you think they aren't making a good decision, but they aren't listening...not this time. I'm sure I have had plenty of friends tell me that a decision I was amking was unwise and I did it anyway, but it sucks when you can't do anything but watch your friend get hurt. I'm like a mother in the fact that I would do absolutely anything to protect my friends from being hurt even if that meant I had to be hurt. So it really sucks for me when I have to come to this point where there is nothing I can do for my friend to help them make a better decision. I stated my opinions and my concerns and now I must let them live their life. It just sucks because this past year I have made lots of mistakes and I wish my friend could learn from my mistakes and not make them for herself. They have seen the pain I have been through and although some of the stuff I did was mighty fun, I still came to a point of regret and they have seen it all with me and yet they are still making the decision despite that.

So whats been going on in my life? I feel like sharing a lot so you may choose to close the window now...

This past week was amazing as I got to be a part of the birth of my best friends little girl. It's awesome to see the joy this little girl brings to all who come near her. She's by far the most beautiful little baby I've ever seen in my entire life. Her parents love and adore her and seeing the love they have for each other and for their little one is sweet to me. It's good to know that Godly parents are going to raise her to grow up to be a Godly woman one day. Lauren & Josh are going to be amazing parents and I'm excited to see the blessings God has for these 3 as they continue their lives together. It's sweet to see the love Lauren has for little Autumn, and how this love has only grown daily since the day she found out she was pregnant and continues. This brings me to Sunday nights sermon by Tommy Nelson. He was talking about raising our children properly and it made me think of Lauren & Josh and the task they now carry as parents, and knowing that they will do as God has designed is amazing. The scripture was Psalm 127. One of the first things Tommy said was that for their to be a house built by the Lord than the husband must submit to God, so that the wife is able to submit to the husband and with that the children are able to submit to their parents. I look at Lauren & Josh and I see this vividly played out, by no means is Autumn old enough to show submission but I guarantee that Lauren & Josh fulfill these roles and that it will be easy for Autumn to submit to them because they are so in step with the Lord. Something about that is sooooo special to me. Tommy spoke a lot about raising your children properly to be good children and something that stuck out to me was "there is no pain that can overcome the joy of having good children, and there is no joy that can overcome the pain of having bad children". Not to brag on myself or my sister, but it's very true. My parents have been very blessed with very good children and I know that my mom finds peace in that. I don't know what she did, but she raised us the right way. We chose to follow God and we continually follow is path, although I've strayed many times my mom knows I'm headed the right way. I am so proud of the parents Lauren & Josh are going to be to Autumn and I'm stoked that Autumn gets to be raised in a very Godly home. Another couple I look forward to seeing their child be brought up in a Godly home is my very own sister. It's so sweet to see Godly people conceive children for you know that the child is safe in that house. May our generation truly bless the world by raising our children in Godly homes. I could continue on and on about how amazing I think Lauren & Josh are or how amazing my sister & her hubby are. But I don't think I could describe either of these couples highly enough to give them justice for the incredible women & men of God they are. I truly aspire to have a marriage like that. I love you all so much!! Nicole, you always will be my role model and I love you for being the woman you are. I am so thankful that I have you to look up to and to imitate occasionally. I love you so much! Lauren, you are precious and I love you and little Autumn so much. I'm proud of you. It's been great to be a part of your life for so long now, its been amazing to watch you grow into this amazing Godly woman. You amaze me!!

Something else God taught me this weekend is going to him in the proper manner. My pastor back home spoke Sunday morning about the Lord's Supper and coming to the table with a clean heart. He talked about the way Simon Peter, James, John and Judas came to the table and how we need to avoid such things. Nice little conviction for me... So Simon Peter came with a spirit of arrogance thinking he was so much better than some of those other guys, as if he were Godlier or something. I'll admit there has been a time or two that I have thought my own sin wasn't so bad because well so and so wasn't exactly being Godly either. Wow...what was I thinking? Seriously. I need to come to the Lord and ask for forgiveness and not try to weight my sin as less just because I want to make myself feel better about it. It's natural though, is it not? So then there is James & John who came with spiritual ignorance. I'm pretty sure I probably come with spiritual ignorance every time. Wow really, I can't recall the last time I picked up my bible was. Here I sit writing being blatently honest partially not wanting to because I feel as if many of you will judge me as you read this, but I frankly don't care. I would rather be honest than to try to make myself look better just so that people think I'm doing fine. (reason I've recently switched churches). So here I sit Sunday morning ready to go before the Lord with arrogance and spiritual ignorance, lets see if I can go ahead and be like Judas too. So then there is Judas at the table with vengeance. Here he is ready to turn Christ in for what? To make himself look better maybe? I don't know if any of us will really know. But the fact is that Judas stabbed Christ in the back and went away from him. I don't feel as though I really do this to Christ, but who knows. So as I sit there in my seat I realize that I better get my heart right before I take of Christ. My heart is broken now, Christ has caught my attention. I know that I will still struggle but I want to change, I wanna get back on track. I want God to move me.

Then there is my own spiritual awakening. Roommates. So we all know how the roommate thing goes, sometimes its really hard to have them. There are days you come home and you look at the dishes and you just wanna puke because you wonder why the crap no on else seems to ever do the dishes. Maybe even why the trash is never taken out, the kitty litter never emptied, the carpet never vacuumed, peoples crap always left out...but then if you think about it, how many times is it you that didn't take the trash out when it was overflowing? Or you avoided the dishes because you just don't want to do them because you are tired. I thought about it and one time a friend of mine suggested this be a test of marriage. So I think about my house now as if I lived with my husband. And although I am sure I would be irritated that he never did the dishes I would find joy in being able to serve him by cleaning up his dishes. It's funny that when its the one you will be married to you want to serve them the best that you can. So why is it that we have such a hard time serving our roommates in the same manner? Perhaps its the selfish desires of our evil hearts. I wish so badly I could be more like Christ in the fact that he is 100% self-less. He never thinks oh I shall wash the dishes today because hopefully tomorrow they will. Oh wait, he just does it because he loves the other person so much. So here's to me trying harder to be selfless when my selfish desires want to have myself taken care of just as much as I want to serve others. May I be better at serving those around me. And with that today I want to commit to being a better roommate, daughter, sister, friend, employee, and a Godlier woman in general. May I challenge you all to do the dishes for your roommates not because they won't get done unless you do them but because you want to serve them by doing that. I honestly find so much joy in cleaning the house when I know its driving Lexy nuts because I know she is busy with work. I don't care so much about my own room, but something about doing the dishes and taking out the trash and vacuuming is fun for me because I know that Lexy is stressed out enough. I love you Alexis!!!

Now with all that being serious I must share a funny story with you all. Last night I drove out to Euless to see Jon D. and a funny thing happened to me. I got there and he told me where to park and flagged me upstairs to the 3rd floor. I wasn't listening completely as I was trying to park, take my IPOD out, etc. So I hear something about the one on the left. So I get up to the 3rd floor and I walk into the first door on the left. That's right, I just walk in...I always have with Jon plus he just saw me so I know its cool. So I walk in and the first door I see is shut so I turn to my left and I see a bed that looks like Jons old comforter. So I walk in the room and there is some strange guy sitting at his desk and I think to myself, "thats not Jon or Don, who is it?" I continue my journey to find Jon by heading to the kitchen and some woman is standing there cooking..."oh crap, im in some strangers apartment". I turn around and walk out the front door glancing back into the room seeing that the guy has now turned and is faced towards me. I let the door shut thinking it will be quiet since it obviously was when I walked in, but no it slams. So i dart down the hall to the next left. Holy crap, are you kidding me? I was in someones apartment and they didn't even notice. I so could have been shot or something, but nope they didn't even realize I was in their place.

Well sorry this post was so long, but I had a lot on my mind. I love you all, and if you made it this far I'm proud. You should leave a comment so that I know you actually read it all...no really leave a comment, they make me smile. It can be your special way of "serving" me...dang it, there I am with my selfish desires!