About a week ago a friend of mine said that he felt like our generation was narcissistic. I disagreed coming from a clinical stand point because someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder takes selfishness to a pretty extreme measure. Also I disagreed because I felt like I did a pretty good job of putting others above myself. However, I do realize there are times that I can be pretty selfish too. When I told him that I didn't feel I was narcissistic he agreed, but now that this past week has gone by I'm not so sure I agree.
Last Saturday night my heart was broken and I found myself crying and needing a friend. I called a particular friend and have yet to hear from them. At first I was deeply wounded and still find myself a little frustrated, but at one point this week God told me to stop being selfish. "Really God? I'm being selfish, what about them? They aren't being a very good friend to me and I really need them right now." I continued to argue with God because I kind of think He's ridiculous at this point and then "Shhhh...Jana, listen to yourself." If you look back at my sentence it's all about me...they aren't being a good friend to me and I need them. Me, me, me. I kind of sit back frustrated because I can't believe that God is telling me to stop being selfish when I needed someone to listen to me because my heart was aching. But I do as I am told and I get over myself and I think about that friend. Yes, I admit I'm still a little frustrated but I also have come to realize that my friend has a lot going on right now and has many priorities.
This message has continued to play a part in my life over the course of the past week. I am constantly reminded of my selfishness. First, God points it out to me directly. Then I hear a message at Recovery on Thursday night where I hear it again. Then I am talking to my sponsor last night and I hear it again. And then this morning I sit in Step Study only to hear it yet again. I am selfish. I want my needs to be met by others. Not only am I selfish but I'm a spiritual adulterer and I put my friends in the place of God. Only God can truly fulfill those needs and I continually look to others.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
My Selfish Life
Monday, August 11, 2008
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Thursday, August 7, 2008
A Changing Heart
I recall my freshman year of college thinking my friend, Lauren, was the sweetest girl you would ever meet. She loved everyone and no one could ever do her so wrong that she be angry with them. That wasn't the case for me. I couldn't understand how Lauren could be so sweet and how she could deal with some of the people she did. I didn't get it at all, but I valued her friendship so much and only wished I could be more like her.
I was a bit feisty by nature and was ready to put up a fight. I was wounded and defensive so if you crossed my path at the wrong time or I felt wronged then you would pay. Simple. I was good with my words and knew just how to hit right below the belt. I was pretty good if I don't admit so myself. I kind of enjoyed being this way--it was easy, it was what was known. No one could hurt me this way. Let me clarify by saying that I was sweet and I did have friends, it just wasn't good to be disliked by me. It wasn't good to catch me on a bad day. If I was mad you could guarantee you would know about it.
Wow, the Lord has done a number on me in the past few years. I am still not nearly as sweet as Lauren and am unsure I will ever be that sweet. But now I can look in the mirror and see a sweet girl. I can look in my heart and know that I've changed a lot and also know how I really feel. I feel so guilty about all the people I probably hurt. I love them, each and every one of them. And even though they may have hurt me I wish that I wouldn't have turned around and been hateful back. So if you were one of the ones I hurt then I apologize from the bottom of my heart. I want to be sweet. I want to be that friend you can really count on. I want to be someone that you can see Christ in...I'm pretty sure you were able to see the devil in me back then. But I know God has done a number in my life. If I have hurt you in any way please let me know so that I can apologize to you apart from this general apology. I truly am sorry for any hurt I may have caused any of you. I pray you can see a cahnge in me and that you can trust me again. I love you all very very much!!
Saturday, August 2, 2008
A Blast from the Past
Movies
Benny & Joon
Curly Sue
Don't Tell Mom the Babysitters Dead
Harry and the Hendersons
Love Potion #9
Willow
Short Circuit
Ghostbusters
Clue
Big
Indiana Jones
Annie
Death Becomes Her
Troop Beverly Hills
Beetlejuice
Twins
Bio-Dome
Drop Dead Fred
Newsies
Back to the Future
Empire Records
The Goonies
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Weekend at Bernies
Steel Magnolias
The Karate Kid
City Slickers
Edward Scissorhands
Three Men and a Baby
Freaky Friday
Pee-Wee's Big Adventure
TV Shows
Roseanne
Full House
The Cosby Show
Alf
Punky Brewster
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Alvin and the Chipmunks
Out of this World
Saved by the Bell
Who's the Boss?
What You Talkin' 'Bout Willis?
Growing Pains
Dumbo's Circus
Sharon, Lois and Bram
The Smurfs
Kids Incorporated
Fresh Prince of Belair
Fraggle Rock
Webster
Double Dare
American Gladiators
Music
New Kids on the Block
Wilson Phillips
Tiffany
Debbie Gibson
MC Hammer
Michael Jackson
Toys
Popples
Strawberry Shortcake
My Little Pony
Cabbage Patch Kids
Pound Puppies
Rainbow Brite
Raggedy Ann
Smurfs
Care Bears
Glo Worm
Hot Wheels
Koosh Ball
Life
Mad Libs
Legos
Lite Brite
Teddy Ruxpin
Trolls
Books
Ghostbusters
The Babysitters Club
The Bernstein Bears
Amelia Bedelia
Other Favorites
Jellys
Slap Bracelets
Pogs
The side clip for t-shirts
Rolled down colored socks
Umbros
Mossimo
Leg Warmers
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Differences Among Us
In the past year I have noticed a lot more about relationships than ever before. It may have something to do with a particular relationship in my own life or perhaps the counseling, but none the less I have made some observations.
I'd have to say the number one problem is our inability to communicate with one another. I find this to be true time and time again. The sad part is that we may have really good communication with one person but then with someone else it just doesn't seem to work out that way. I find that I have certain friends that I am completely okay with critique while others completely hurt you when they try to recorrect. The reason for this is because of communication. One person may be able to tell you something in a manner that is beneficial and even uplifting while someone else may tear you apart to the core. We must learn how to communicate effectively with one another in order to maintain healthy friendships.
I once was not someone who wanted to work through things. If you were mad at me or upset with me then I just let you be and I could have cared less. I didn't need you any way. Wow--I sure was prideful! But now I am someone who wants to sit down and figure out exactly how we can do life together, just exactly how we can get along better and really truly be friends. An issue came up this week between me and one of my roommates. I had hurt her feelings through my actions which had not been my intention. So we talked it through and I discussed with her exactly what it is she needed from me and what I needed to do to change. I then told her areas where I had been hurt and she apologized and learned from me what I needed. If we wouldn't have had this open communication we would have just destroyed our friendship, but instead we made it stronger. I encourage you all to set aside your differences with people and figure out a middle ground.
This brings up the second reason I think we have such a hard time interacting with others, we grew up differently so our value systems are different and our insecurities are different as well. I have seen this time and time again as I set up expectations for people based on my system of beliefs. Perhaps I expect a man to hold the door open for me and when one doesn't I get mad, but perhaps that man was never taught that was respectful in the first place.
In my last dating relationship the guy had a tendency to not call when he said he was going to which irritated me because I was raised in such a way that you at least made contact just to say you were busy or you would get back to them later. But he was raised in such a way that you just got back to that person whenever you could, whenever you were done with whatever it is you had to finish even if it meant not calling that person until the next day. I had to learn to forgive him when he would forget to call and he had to learn to try harder to call when he said he would call. I just encourage you to be open in communication so that when something comes up you can come to an understanding with one another so that you can strengthen your own relationship. If I would have continued to get frustrated with him and he continued not to try then our relationship would have been destroyed because both of us were too selfish to change a little.
The insecurities bit is another problem I've seen in relationships as well. One of my insecurities is that I don't belong or that people don't like me because I'm not "cool" enough. This comes from high school and being severely rejected by the "in" crowd. So I have a tendency to get my feelings hurt when I perceive someone "cool" as rejecting me. This often times happens with my own friends and I will become upset because I feel like they are choosing my more "cool" friends to hang out with and forget about me. While this might be the case sometimes, in most cases this is not the case and it was completely not related at all.
Each of us has our own insecurities that now cause us to react in certain ways in current relationships. Perhaps you were once cheated on so you don't trust the next guy you date because you just know that he too will break that trust. Maybe you've been betrayed by friends many times in the sense that they always end up dating the guy you liked so then you never tell anyone who you like so they can't steal him away. This week alone I told one of my friends that I understood if they didn't want to be friends any more because they started dating someone because I am used to people saying goodbye to friendships when they start dating. Yet this isn't always the case. Not only did I try to tell a friend goodbye, but I also withdrew from another friend who started dating just so I didn't have to be rejected. Be cautious of your insecurities and the affect they have on your life. Not only should you be aware of them, but you should make an effort to get rid of them. I know that's my goal because by having them I am allowing Satan to have a hold in my life.
Friday, July 18, 2008
My Adult Post
We have had a recent problem with one of our dogs peeing all over the place. We couldn't manage to find the spot for the longest time though. Then this week I finally got on my hands and knees and sniffed out the carpet...only to find that Bella had peed a lot in one particular area. And by a lot I mean she's probably been peeing in the same area every day for a month. We have decided that we need to do some serious cleaning considering it kind of smells like we have a nasty cat liter in our house which is not okay. So I was at working looking through websites trying to find some good advice and I found this amazing website and had to share it with all of you especially my mommy's. Turns out we are all adults now and we get excited about carpet cleaning tips!!
Sorry that I haven't posted the relationship blog yet...I have started it, but didn't realize I would need to organize my thoughts as much as I am. Plus I went to camp for a week.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Posting
Things I want to post about...
1) Thankful for my life--even the crap!
2) Selfishness and it's destruction.
3) The Differences Among People and the Hurt It Causes
What do you want to hear about first?
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Tristan Michael
Tristan Michael Bush
Sunday, June 15, 2008
It's Time
Whatever You're Doing by Sanctus Real
It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender
(Chorus)
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly
Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...
(Chorus)
Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This is something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly
It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Christianity & Complacency
I guess I do a lot of thinking once I crawl in bed to unwind for the day and tonight I can't help but think about Christianity and complacency. I recall several years ago I was involved in a wonderful ministry. At the time I thought that some of their beliefs were a bit over the top and didn't necessarily agree with them. I thought the only hug from the side if it's a guy and a girl thing was just ridiculous. I thought it was kind of stupid that as a leader we had to sign a contract saying we wouldn't drink. But now I am thankful for all of that and even wish I would have continued to follow that in my own life.
With the psychology and counseling background that I have, I am very familiar with A.A. Although it was originally created as a spiritual recovery program it has since then become more secular. I think about what an alcoholic goes through and the difficulty of abstaining from alcohol. I know that they have to truly have supportive friends that won't allow for alcohol to be around when the alcoholic is present and some friends and family go as far to abstain from alcohol themselves. What a powerful impact those friends and families have on the life of that specific alcoholic allowing them to recover a little bit easier by deciding to take those things out of their own life in order to help prevent relapse.
Thinking about this kind of frustrates me when I then think about Christians and the roles played out relating to sin. 1 Corinthians 8:13 says "Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall." Also in Romans 14:12b "Make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way." and then versse 21 "It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall." These verses have really spoken a lot to me this week. As the alcoholics family gives up alcohol in order to help their friend or family member shouldn't we also give up some things in order to keep our brothers or sisters from stumbling? Perhaps this is where that "over the top" Christianity comes back into play for me.
Say I have a lot of friends come over to hang out and we decide to have margaritas. Margaritas in and of themselves are not a bad thing, but say an alcoholic comes to the party. What then have I done? Let's take this down a notch. Say that a friend cusses thinking it's funny and not necessarily all that wrong, but another person struggles with keeping a pure mouth...what then have I done? This one is a little different since none of us should really be talking that way in the first place, but the point being I then cause my brother to stumble. "Avoid Godless chatter because those who indulge in it become more and more ungodly." 2 Timothy 2 :16. For the females, knowing that guys tend to struggle with lust shouldn't we then make sure we cover ourselves well? I have always been conservative in the way I dress and tend to always put a tank under low cut shirts. Why would we put our ladies out there to taunt our guy friends and possibly cause them to stumble. Put your ladies away girls, pull them out on the honeymoon but until them keep them in a safe place. 1 Timothy 2:9a "I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety."
In this I am saying that there are things that we do in our lives that are not sinful in and of themselves, but could cause someone close to us to stumble. But then there are also things in our lives that I believe we as Christians have justified as being "ok" to do. When really we need to stop justifying our actions and live Godly lives. I see a lot of justification of sin and it's really a crock of a crap if you ask me. I am not saying that I in any way have mastered any of these things and probably struggle with a number of them, but God is doing something in my life and I want to make a change. I love that we justify a friends actions instead of doing what the bible tells us to do. Luke 17:3 "So watch yourselves. 'If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.' "
Just now I sit here flipping through my bible pulling verses for this post and I run across this one...2 Timothy 4:2-3 "Peace the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke, and encourage-with great patience and careful instruction. For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear." Perhaps this verse speaks a number on why we justify things we know are clearly unacceptable and wrong.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Now that's what I call love...
Genesis 1:31 "God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day."
This verse kept me awake at 1:30 in the morning. I was laying in bed after reading Genesis 1 thinking about what I had just read. What was different about it this time compared to the other times I had read the same scriptures. I laid there contemplating what it could be that was different and after several minutes it came to me.
In the rest of Genesis when God is creating the heavens and the earth at the end of the day he sees that it is good, but after creating man and woman he states that it was very good. So compared to the rest of His creation he sees the creation of man very good. So what does that mean to me and why did it keep me awake at 1:30?
It was at that moment that I realized that God knew that we would mess it all up and yet he said it was very good. He created us and everything was perfect, yet God knew that we were going to really mess everything up with in no time. Eve would eat the apple causing the fall. God would wipe away everyone through the flood. He then promises not to kill us all off but when we continue to screw up he confuses the speech among His people. We continually goof up and He has to send His only son to save us. And knowing that all of this would happen he still says that it is very good that He created us.
Wow...we are truly loved and so undeserving!
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Broken
The Broken clock is a comfort
It helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow
From stealing all my time
And I am here still waiting
Though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best
Like you've already figured out
I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
There is healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on (I'm holdin on)(I'm holdin on)
I'm barely holding on to you
The broken locks were a warning
You got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded
I'm an open book instead
And I still see your reflection
Inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose
They're still looking for life
I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain (In the pain)
Is there healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on (I'm still holdin on)(I'm holdin on)
(I'm still holdin on) (I'm holdin on)
I'm barely holding on to you
I'm hanging on another day
Just to see what, you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on, to the words you say
You said that I will, will be okay
The broken light on the freeway
Left me here alone
I may have lost my way now
But I haven't forgotten my way home
I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain (In the pain)
There is healing
In your name (In your name)
I find meaning
So I'm holding on (I'm still holdin')(I'm holdin' on)(I'm still holdin') (I'm holdin' on) (I'm still holdin')
Barely holding on to you (I'm still holdin on)
Barely holdin on to you
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Hurting
I have reached a time in my life in which I'm so broken that I don't even feel that I have the strength to stand up on my own. I honestly know that only by the Lords grace can I begin to stand at this time. I know that he is the only reason I have any strength at all. I am so thankful for that! I cannot imagine experiencing what I'm experiencing now with out the love of my Lord and Saviour. Not only can I imagine going through these experiences with out him, but I can't imagine going through them with out an incredible set of friends. I have so many wonderful friends that I can really rely on as well.
However, its a bit strange that I feel the need to hide my pain from my family. I typically am not that way in the least bit. I rely on and stand close to my family all the time. They know everything because I trust them with everything. But for some really strange reason I don't want them to know how bad I hurt...I don't want them to see my weak and vulnerable. I want them to think I'm strong.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Loved
Today my roommate and I talked about the sweet little things a guy will do that causes your heart to skip a beat. It's the random hand holdings and the sweet kisses over the forehead that really do us in. We were talking about how it's more meaningful to receive that kind of affection than to become physical with one another.
Quickly after our conversation she asked me if this was because of the relationships we had with our fathers or the lack of relationships with our father. I personally don't see a connection, but perhaps there is.
However, tonight while I was driving home from dinner I looked into the sky to see one of the most beautiful sunsets I had seen in a very long time. The sunset took my breathe away and I immediately thanked God for creating such a beautiful sunset. Not only did I get to see an absolutely beautiful sunset today, but on my way to work I saw the most beautiful rainbow. The rainbow was totally unexpected and one of those things you rarely get to see. I couldn't help but thank God for the beauty of his creation...twice today.
Every time I see something beautiful like that I thank God for showing me He loves me. Perhaps that sounds strange to some of you, but I kind of feel like God is whispering "Hey, I love you!" as he paints the sky with beauty. He realizes that those are the things that brighten my day and that take my breath away.
Perhaps my heart skips a beat when God does something like paints a beautiful sunset or rainbow at just the right time...the same way that my heart skips a beat with a boy slides his fingers between mine or kisses me gently across the forehead. To be in love with God is such a sweet thing...
Saturday, May 10, 2008
MIA
So I've been MIA for the past month...
Between school, work and my internship, I really haven't had much free time. My semester ended on Thursday which has been a sweet relief. I have three weeks of calmness before the storm hits again, but then I am done in August. It will be nice to have a couple of weeks off where for once every night isn't booked solid and I might get some full nights of rest.
Be praying for me as my work assignment ends at the beginning of June and I currently have nothing to go to. Also, I need a job for August when I graduate. And lastly...I need a roommate.
Speaking of roommates...I had a new girl move in and she's absolutely wonderful. I love and adore her! The reason I have another space is because Marisha got engaged and is getting married soon. Congratulations Rishy Roo!
Saturday, April 12, 2008
My Very Best Friend!!
I will write in pink in honor of my very bestest friend in the entire world since this blog is about her. Thirteen years ago God placed in my life the most incredible girl ever, her name is Chelsey. I can honestly say that our friendship was completely God ordained. There are people in your life that come in for a season and then shortly after that they leave. I feel very fortunate that Chelsey and I will always be friends. The friendship we have shared has had it's ups and downs, but ultimately has stayed strong over the years. We've been to hell and back more than once and come out on the other side. We have held each other in the most difficult of times and laughed are butts off in the happiest of times. There are things in this life that we've experience together and apart, but either way they have brought us close together. Parts of our lives were so similar that we were truly the only person that could truly understand what the other way going through. All of these things make me know that our friendship was completely God ordained and I couldn't be more thankful for God's special blessing in my life. Not only have we become the best of friends, but she has become my sister.
Our bond has given us such a closeness that I consider her part of my family. I consider her children to be my niece and nephew just as if they were really born into my family. This week Caleb accepted Christ and what a joy that was for me as his Aunt! I am so excited to be able to be a part of Caleb & Carleigh's lives and can't wait to watch the people they grow up to be!!
Monday, March 31, 2008
Graduation
I will be graduating from Dallas Baptist University on 08/08/08! What a cool date to graduate on-I'm such a nerd! I can't believe that in less than 5 months I will have a Masters degree.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Why?
Why is it that we hurt the ones we care the most about?
There is someone in my life that has grown to become one of my very best friends. This person has helped me to overcome my deepest and darkest side, the side of myself that I had grown to believe would never change. This person was patient with me in an area in my life where most people were too frustrated with me to see me through it. But this friend, they stuck with me and encouraged me along the way. And with their help and encouragement I was able to overcome a part of myself that caused a lot of heartache. This part of myself is something I was once extremely proud of, but for the past 5 years have been very ashamed of. This individual quickly showed me a new side and a new way to handle myself. They pointed out to me things that I had never really looked at before.
I have had to learn to swallow my pride in very big ways. I have also had to learn that the way I react sometimes is by far nothing that resembles Christ. There are things about my life now that look so different from my past. I am utterly amazed by the difference! To know me now and to know me then is like knowing two different people. God truly can change people.
This junk that my friend has helped me through is the shameful "anger" issues that I've been struggling with for my entire life. I was always quick to get angry and even quicker to make you pay if you were the one to make me angry. What a drag I must have been! Tonight I lost my cool with this friend like I would have in the past. I got upset and had my feelings hurt because I perceived their actions in the wrong manner, but instead of informing them that I was upset in an appropriate manner I went off on them. I was truly out of line.
What scares me the most about this is that it's possible that because of my foolishness I could have hurt my friend. I would never ever want to hurt this friend as they mean more than the world to me. The very thought of hurting them crushes my heart. I hate that it's the ones we care most about that we are most likely to hurt.
To my friend...thanks a million for everything you've been in my life! Thanks for putting up with me when the rest of the world has given up. I cannot imagine my life with out you. You truly are amazing and I thank God for you every day!
Monday, March 24, 2008
Music, Memories & the Lord
There are a few songs that I will always manage to cry during because of the significance of the song in my life. I can nearly remember a song for every family member that I've lost. With my GeeMa it was Amazing Grace as it was the song that was sung to her while she was on her death bed by one of the nurses at her Hospice place. Then with my Uncle it was I Can Only Imagine because two days after his death I went to church and heard this song for the first time. I completely lost it as I thought about my Uncle no longer having to imagine as he was there experiencing Heaven. And lastly with my Granddad it was Because He Lives as it was song sang at his funeral. Besides those three there are several more songs that remind me of my GeeMa & Granddad that almost always bring me to tears as well. The lyrics to most of these songs bring comfort and remind me of my own walk with Christ.
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.
T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.
Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.
The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.
Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.
I Can Only Imagine
I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side
I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine
Chorus:
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son
I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine
Chorus
I can only imagine [x2]
I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship you
Because He Lives
God sent His son, they called Him, Jesus;
He came to love, heal and forgive;
He lived and died to buy my pardon,
An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives!
Chorus:
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives!
How sweet to hold a newborn baby,
And feel the pride and joy he gives;
But greater still the calm assurance:
This child can face uncertain days because He Lives!
Chorus
And then one day, I'll cross the river,
I'll fight life's final war with pain;
And then, as death gives way to vict'ry,
I'll see the lights of glory and I'll know He lives!
Chorus
The Old Rugged Cross
On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross,
The emblem of suffering and shame;
And I love that old cross where the dearest and best
For a world of lost sinners was slain.
Refrain:
So I’ll cherish the old rugged cross,
Till my trophies at last I lay down;
I will cling to the old rugged cross,
And exchange it some day for a crown.
O that old rugged cross, so despised by the world,
Has a wondrous attraction for me;
For the dear Lamb of God left His glory above
To bear it to dark Calvary.
Refrain
In that old rugged cross, stained with blood so divine,
A wondrous beauty I see,
For ’twas on that old cross Jesus suffered and died,
To pardon and sanctify me.
Refrain
To the old rugged cross I will ever be true;
Its shame and reproach gladly bear;
Then He’ll call me some day to my home far away,
Where His glory forever I’ll share.
Refrain
There are many more songs that remind me of my grandparents as well as Christ. And hearing them bring joy to my heart as I think of both God and my grandparents. They truly were in love with the Lord and I am so thankful for that because of their relationship with God I have also been able to experience the same joy. Most of these songs are sung by the Gaithers, but I refuse to enjoy their music. I kind of miss singing songs like these at church. Yesterday morning it was nice to sing "Because He Lives" even though it did make me cry. I love and miss my Papaw & Grandma, Granddad & GeeMa and Uncle Toot, but am so thankful that I will see them again some day.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
The Cross
As I mentioned in my last post, I have been reading the book The Search for Significance. He made a very profound statement that I can't seem to forget, "Every day our minds should be overwhelmed by thankfulness for what he did on our behalf."
On dictionary.com, overwhelmed means to affect deeply in mind or emotion. I think about my mind being overwhelmed by the very thought of Christ on the cross. If I would focus on his death on the cross daily and remember his payment for my sin what a different lifestyle I might actually live. When I really do sit and think about his death on the cross I become overwhelmed with emotion and tears begin to stream down my cheeks. I can't help but remember Jesus upon the cross in the movie The Passion of the Christ.
To look at this picture alone sends chills up my spine as I think about the excruciating pain Christ went through on my behalf. I often joke about watching this movie when a group of people is around because it's definately going to change to mood of the crowd. I haven't seen this movie since it came out in 2004 and I think that perhaps it is a movie I should watch more often because it paints such a great picture of Christ's sacrifice for my life. If nothing else I should just watch the scenes in which Christ begins to be beaten to death and then forced to carry his cross through the city to the hill in which he lays his life down for me.
I can't help but be reminded of the verse Romans 5:8, "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." This verse often finds me in a place of sorrow as I think about how sinful I am and how Christ died upon the cross for me despite this. God loves me enough that no matter how many times I will sin against me his love will remain the same. Amazing.
In honor of Easter I post the lyrics and a youtube video to the song, How Could You Say No? This is by far one of my favorite songs representing the picture of Christ giving up his life for me...
Thorns on His head, spear in His side
Yet it was a heartache that made Him cry
He gave His life so you would understand
Is there any way you could say no to this Man?
If Christ Himself
Were standing here
Face full of glory and eyes full of tears
Held out His arms with His nail pierced hands
Is there any way you could say no to this Man?
Chorus:
How could you look in His tear-stained eyes
Knowing it's you He's thinking of?
Would you tell Him you're not ready to give Him your life?
Could you say you don't think you need His love?
Jesus is here with His arms open wide
You can see Him with your heart if you'll stop looking with your eyes
He's left it up to you, He's done all He can
Is there any way you could say no to this Man?
Thorns on His head, your life is in His hands
Is there any way you could say no to this Man?
Oh, is there any way you could say no to this Man?
